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The graph below gives information from a 2006 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030. v.1

The graph below gives information from a 2006 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030. v. 1
Food and its related products have been moving from thousands of kilometres away to meet the market demands for centuries. It is argued that eating local farmer's produced vegetables, rice and wheat will be better for the ecosystem and the local economy. This essay totally disagrees with the statement because small community agriculture cannot produce all types of food which may create harm to health. Moreover, exporting valuable crops can be a way of earning foreign currency. Most often some areas are fertile for a certain types of crops and sometimes they do not make balance in the food chain. Lands and soil have their won characters and agricultural products are mostly depending on these. In addition, sometimes weather plays a vital role in it too. For example, rice and jutes grow in plenty in Bangladesh because of the wet soil and monsoon flood. Where as Bangladesh cannot plant strawberry or apple and the reason behind is the weather. If there is no tread of food, there will be an imbalance of the food chain in all over the world and people will suffer various health problems. Exporting local products in different countries boost the local economy with foreign currency. If one country grows lots of sugar, they can export it which will help to buy other material and might have savings of money. For instance, we could talk about Honey from New Zealand. Their Manakau honey is tasty, delicious and organic and they earn lots of currency by exporting it. However, raw food exporting might have some difficulties if the packs are not sealed properly. It could get contaminated with bacteria and lose the market value. In conclusion, trading on crops and agricultural products are going all over the world. It goes one corner to another by different transportation methods which helps to keep the food chain intact and delivers all vitamins in our body. It is predicted that, in the future there will be more business on food and perishable goods for income more money.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
and its related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
have been moving from thousands of
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
away to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the market demands for centuries. It
is argued
that eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
farmer's produced vegetables, rice and wheat will be better for the ecosystem and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
economy. This essay
totally
disagrees with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
community agriculture cannot produce all types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which may create harm to health.
Moreover
, exporting valuable crops can be a way of earning foreign currency.

Most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas are fertile for a certain types of crops and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
balance in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
chain. Lands and soil have their won characters and agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
mostly
depending on these.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
weather plays a vital role in it too.
For example
, rice and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "juts", the plural form of the noun 'jut'?
jutes
grow in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
in Bangladesh
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the wet soil and monsoon flood.
Did you mean "Whereas"?
Where as
Bangladesh cannot plant strawberry or apple and the reason behind is the weather. If there is no tread of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, there will be an imbalance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
chain in all over the world and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will suffer various health problems.

Exporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries boost the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
economy with foreign currency. If one country grows lots of sugar, they can export it which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
other material and might have savings of money.
For instance
, we could talk about Honey from New Zealand. Their
Possible spelling mistake found.
Manakau
honey is tasty, delicious and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
organic and
they earn lots of currency by exporting it.
However
, raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
exporting might have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties if the packs are not sealed
properly
. It could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
contaminated with bacteria and lose the market value.

In conclusion
, trading on crops and agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are going all over the world. It goes one corner to another by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
transportation methods which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
chain intact and delivers all vitamins in our body. It
is predicted
that, in the future there will be more business on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and perishable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
for income more money.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay The graph below gives information from a 2006 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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