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If children behave badly should their parents take responsibility and also be punished State your answer and give your reasons v.1

If children behave badly should their parents take responsibility and also be punished State your answer and give your reasons v. 1
Over the past 40 years, the disparity between rich and poor communities has increased dramatically. Unequal distribution of wealth is one of the common problems faced by developing nations. This can lead to poverty because they are certain forms of wealth which are essential but cannot be created by human beings to any significant extent. For instance, fertile farmland. The wealth of this type is zero-sum. This creates a significant rift between the wealthy and the poor and leads to many social problems. Economic disparity not only affects the lives of the people, but also hinders the overall economic development of a nation. The ministry should always strive towards minimizing this gap. If we look at the problems caused by this phenomenon, we will find a number of issues. One of the main problems caused by unequal distribution of income is that education has become inaccessible to the poor. Nowadays quality education has become very expensive. There are a list of schools and colleges which are very costly and not within the reach of poor people. Due to this, these people are not able to compete for high paying jobs and it becomes a fundamental disadvantage for them. Another important issue is the increase in crime rates. As marginalized groups most often do not make enough money to meet their basic needs, they resort to heinous acts like burglary, theft etc. Although these issues are critical, it is possible to find solutions. In fact, there are various instances where solutions have been provided by the government itself. Firstly, It should develop schemes and provide scholarships, which will help people from the poor section afford a quality education. This will give them a fair chance to compete with rich people. Reserving seats for marginalized group or quota system can also be one of the solutions. In addition, authorities should encourage and endeavour entrepreneurship among underprivileged sects. For instance, it has introduced many schemes to empower the poor. While poverty is still an issue in the country, the life standards of the poor are increasing slowly. To sum up, the differences between the rich and the poor is widening and has created many problems like an increase in crime rates. However, if the authority exercises enough political willpower, it is possible to solve these problems.
Over the past 40 years, the disparity between rich and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
communities has increased
dramatically
. Unequal distribution of wealth is one of the common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
faced by developing nations. This can lead to poverty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are certain forms of wealth which are essential
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
cannot
be created
by human beings to any significant extent.
For instance
, fertile farmland. The wealth of this type is zero-sum. This creates a significant rift between the wealthy and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
and leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Economic disparity not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
affects the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
hinders the
overall
economic development of a nation. The ministry should always strive towards minimizing this gap. If we look at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
caused by this phenomenon, we will find a number of issues.

One of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
caused by unequal distribution of income is that education has become inaccessible to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
. Nowadays quality education has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive. There are a list of schools and colleges which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly and not within the reach of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Due to this, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not able to compete for high paying jobs and it becomes a fundamental disadvantage for them. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue is the increase in crime rates. As marginalized groups most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their basic needs, they resort to heinous acts like burglary, theft etc.

Although these issues are critical, it is possible to find solutions. In fact, there are various instances where solutions have
been provided
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
itself.
Firstly
, It should develop schemes and provide scholarships, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
section afford a quality education. This will give them a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
chance to compete with rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Reserving seats for marginalized group or quota system can
also
be one of the solutions.
In addition
, authorities should encourage and
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
entrepreneurship among underprivileged sects.
For instance
, it has introduced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
schemes to empower the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
. While poverty is
still
an issue in the country, the life standards of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
are increasing
slowly
.

To sum up, the differences between the rich and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
is widening and has created
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
like an increase in crime rates.
However
, if the authority exercises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
political willpower, it is possible to solve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay If children behave badly should their parents take responsibility and also be punished State your answer and give your reasons v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
383 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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