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The graph below gives information from 1 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant v.1

The graph below gives information from 1 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030
Although it is considered by many that youth should do some free volunteer work to help people in the society, others think that it can have negative results. Unpaid social work can make community a better place and society will be more connected, but there are also some drawbacks to be taken into account. On the one hand, doing unpaid work helps people and society in many different ways. Firstly, it will make society a better place to live. A volunteer might take up the work such as cleaning the community centre or guide the people on roads to follow traffic rules. This act of youth will encourage other people to not throw waste on the streets and do not break any regulations set by traffic police. Secondly, youth will be away from gadgets for some time and will be able to interact with other society members. This will give them a sense of belongings and community will be more connected this way. On the other hand, working for society without getting any money can have some downsides too. One of the problems with it is people will take leaves for doing such works. Thus, their earnings will be less for that particular period. Some people then might find it difficult to pay their bills if their income is not regular or standard for any month. Another minor issue is, students involved in community work may hamper their study by not going to college. Therefore, their flow of study will break, and it may result in poor academic performance. In conclusion, while unpaid work can be beneficial to the society and youth, it can also lead to reduced income and lower grades of the students.
Although it
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
should do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
free volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
results. Unpaid social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
a better place and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
will be more connected,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks to
be taken
into account.

On the one hand, doing unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways.
Firstly
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
a better place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. A volunteer might take up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
such as cleaning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
or guide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on roads to follow traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. This act of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
will encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to not throw waste on the streets and do not break any regulations set by traffic police.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
will be away from gadgets for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time and will be able to interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
members. This will give them a sense of belongings and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
will be more connected this way.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, working for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
without getting any money can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
downsides too. One of the problems with it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
for doing such works.
Thus
, their earnings will be less for that particular period.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
then might find it difficult to pay their bills if their income is not regular or standard for any month. Another minor issue is, students involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
may hamper their study by not going to college.
Therefore
, their flow of study will break, and it may result in poor academic performance.

In conclusion
, while unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can be beneficial to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
, it can
also
lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
income and lower grades of the students.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The graph below gives information from 1 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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