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In many countries around the world young people decode to leave their parents home once they finish school. They start living in their personal homes or sharing homes with their friends. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

In many countries around the world young people decode to leave their parents home once they finish school. They start living in their personal homes or sharing homes with their friends. v. 1
In recent years, it has been observed that many small shops in the local area have closed because customers go to big shopping centres or malls to buy essentials. In my opinion, I feel that this is a negative trend because people will have to travel a larger distance, even for small things thereby wasting resources, furthermore, there are other serious consequences to the society in terms of economy. One of the ill effects of shutting down small retail shops in the vicinity of our homes is that residents will waste their valuable time and resources in order to procure even simple items by travelling greater distances. For instance, in some unforeseen scenarios wherein milk got emptied then customers must go to malls which are far away, therefore, both time and fuel will be wasted. Hence closing of small shops is a negative development because of many people shopping in bigger centres. Another concern for small shops getting closed is that the source of the money for such shops also becomes unavailable thereby hindering the growth of the economy. The family of such shops will struggle for their survival and will become a burden to the society. To illustrate, in Bangalore lots of small shops got closed and people went on hunger strike against big shopping centres and the government to lay some regulations on new shopping centre. Hence, small retail shops getting closed is seen as a negative implication on the growth of the human society. In conclusion, a lot of small shops going extinct are a big trouble for individuals as they have borne the travel expenses even for tiny essentials, in addition, society will have faced economic crisis due to the support it has to provide to the small retail owners.
In recent years, it has
been observed
that
many
small
shops
in the local area have
closed
because
customers go to
big
shopping
centres
or malls to
buy
essentials. In my opinion, I feel that this is a
negative
trend
because
people
will
have to
travel a larger distance, even for
small
things thereby wasting resources,
furthermore
, there are other serious
consequences to
the society in terms of economy.

One of the ill effects of shutting down
small
retail
shops
in the vicinity of our homes is that residents will waste their valuable time and resources in order to procure even simple items by travelling greater distances.
For instance
, in
some
unforeseen scenarios wherein milk
got
emptied then customers
must
go to malls which are far away,
therefore
, both time and fuel will
be wasted
.
Hence
closing of
small
shops
is a
negative
development
because
of
many
people
shopping
in bigger
centres
.

Another concern for
small
shops
getting
closed
is that the source of the money for such
shops
also
becomes unavailable thereby hindering the growth of the economy. The family of such
shops
will struggle for their survival and will become a burden to the society. To illustrate, in Bangalore lots of
small
shops
got
closed
and
people
went on hunger strike against
big
shopping
centres
and the
government
to lay
some
regulations on new
shopping
centre
.
Hence
,
small
retail
shops
getting
closed
is
seen
as a
negative
implication on the growth of the human society.

In conclusion
,
a lot of
small
shops
going extinct are a
big
trouble for individuals as they have borne the travel expenses even for tiny essentials,
in addition
, society will have faced economic crisis due to the support it
has to
provide to the
small
retail owners.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries around the world young people decode to leave their parents home once they finish school. They start living in their personal homes or sharing homes with their friends. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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