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Stress related illnesses are becoming increasingly common What do you think are causes of it? What solutions can you suggest? v.1

Stress related illnesses are becoming increasingly common What do you think are causes of it? What solutions can you suggest? v. 1
Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about illnesses and especially stress. From my personal perspective, there are a variety of reasons that lead to stress problem, but people also have multiple of ways to deal and cue this. First, it is obvious that each person has their own problems and from these unsolved problems, it will lead to stress. This means that the causes that leads to stress of each person are different and the reason why this type of illnesses is rising dramatically is typically because peoples' lives are getting day by day. As a result, the number of human issues is growing rapidly. For instance, the job opportunities today are declining significantly due to the population exploration which means people chance of getting a well paid job is much harder than before. Therefore, not all people have the money to do what they want as the income they earn is not enough. From a variety of the normal problems that happened everyday, it becomes bigger. Moreover, because of not all of people can deal with these problems, people will be stressful. However, that is not to say that stress cannot be solved and cue, but it depends a lot on the person who get the stress. In my opinion, stressful because of something is starting from the problems that we get so to get rid of stress, we need to resolve these problems first. Of course, solving our own puzzle is definitely difficult, but it doesn't mean that it is impossible because if other people can, we also can do it. The only thing that we can do is try harder, stay calm and do not over thinking about it because over thinking about the problem will make us feel like it is something enormous. We need to keep working harder because these hard working will bring to us successfully one day. Stay calm is also playing a crucial role because whenever we struggle with something, we are really easy to get angry and this is easy to get stress and even worse than that such as fighting or doing something stupid that we cannot imagine. In conclusion, meanwhile, stressstress is an illnesses that all people can get it easy, but it is still possible to get rid of stress if we know how to deal with it.
Nowadays, an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are concerned
about illnesses and
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. From my personal perspective, there are a variety of reasons that lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
have multiple of ways to deal and cue this.

First
, it is obvious that each person has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and from these unsolved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, it will lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. This means that the causes that leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
of each person are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and the reason why this type of illnesses is rising
dramatically
is
typically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
peoples'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are getting day by day.
As a result
, the number of human issues is growing
rapidly
.
For instance
, the job opportunities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are declining
significantly
due to the population exploration which means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
chance of getting a well paid job is much harder than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Therefore
, not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the money to do what they want as the income they earn is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. From a variety of the normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that happened
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
, it becomes bigger.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of not all of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can deal with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be stressful.

However
,
that is
not to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
cannot
be solved
and cue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it depends a lot on the person who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. In my opinion, stressful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
is starting from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
, we need to resolve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
first
.
Of course
, solving our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
puzzle is definitely difficult,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it doesn't mean that it is impossible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can, we
also
can do it. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing that we can do is try harder, stay calm and do not over
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "think"?
thinking
about it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
over thinking about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us feel like it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
enormous. We need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
working harder
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
will bring to us
successfully
one day. Stay calm is
also
playing a crucial role
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
whenever we struggle with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
, we are
really
easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
angry and this is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
and even worse than that such as fighting or doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
stupid that we cannot imagine.

In conclusion
, meanwhile,
Possible spelling mistake found.
stressstress
is
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "an illness" or simply "illnesses"?
an illnesses
that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it easy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
still
possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
if we know how to deal with it.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Stress related illnesses are becoming increasingly common What do you think are causes of it? What solutions can you suggest? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
392 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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