Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown. v.1

The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown. v. 1
Universities are often under the society’s eye for a different set of reasons, one of them are ensuring students’ abilities are being assessed in a right way and on a correct basis. This raises a question whether knowledge and ability should be examined only by formal tests or continuous assessments should also be considered. In this essay I will discuss these views and explain why I feel that continuous course work and regular projects are crucial whilst evaluating students’ skills – not only because of consistent work undertaken throughout the year which would show students’ knowledge but also developed abilities to be adopted for long term. To start off, if we did not study throughout the year on a particular subject by doing various of continuous work, such as group projects or assessments, we would have a poor understanding of what we are expected to know or be capable of and could face a miserable fail. To avoid this situation, students in universities are being asked to participate in classes on a periodic basis and as a result, being judged on their work which is a fair evaluation in my view. Moreover, to gain a skill or learn something new takes practice. Students are not in universities to get a worthless paper, they are there to get the knowledge to be used in the long term, and for their future career, many would hope so. Research shows that if information is being memorized rather than understood keeps in our head for approximately only two weeks. That is another important fact, why students cannot be evaluated just by one final written or practical exam, whereas it can simply mean student learnt the subject last minute and passed the exam while this is not the right way to do it. Similarly enough, a good student who might have had a perfect midterm result, stressed out too much before the test and consequently did not get a result which truly measured his or her abilities or expertise. To conclude, not only I believe that continuous assessments should be implemented in university levels, but also the knowledge and abilities of students should strictly be measured based on both, formal examinations at the end of the term and continuing work undertaken by students which would show a true value of their understanding and skills obtained due to long-term value.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
under the society’s eye for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
set of reasons, one of them are ensuring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
are
being assessed
Consider replacing "in a right way" with the adverb for "right"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a right way
and on a correct basis. This raises a question whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
should
be examined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
by formal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
continuous
assessments should
also
be considered
. In this essay I will discuss these views and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
continuous
course
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and regular projects are crucial whilst evaluating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of consistent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
undertaken throughout the year which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
to
be adopted
for long term.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
off, if we did not study throughout the year on a particular subject by doing various of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
continuous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, such as group projects or assessments, we would have a poor understanding of what we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to know or be capable of and could face a miserable fail. To avoid this situation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
are
being asked
to participate in classes on a periodic basis and
as a result
,
being judged
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
evaluation in my view.

Moreover
, to gain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
or learn something new takes practice.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
are not in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a worthless paper, they are there to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the long term, and for their future career,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
would hope
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. Research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that if information is
being memorized
rather
than understood
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
in our head for approximately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
two weeks.
That is
another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
fact, why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
cannot
be evaluated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by one final written or practical exam, whereas it can
simply
mean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
the subject last minute and passed the exam while this is not the right way to do it.
Similarly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who might have had a perfect midterm result,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
out too much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
and
consequently
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a result which
truly
measured
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
or expertise.

To conclude
, not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
continuous
assessments should
be implemented
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
levels,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
strictly
be measured
based on both, formal examinations at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the term and continuing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
undertaken by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a true value of their understanding and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
obtained due to long-term value.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
394 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts