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The charts compare the spending of an average American household on six different types of products or activities in 1998 and 2008. v.1

The charts compare the spending of an average American household on six different types of products or activities in 1998 and 2008. v. 1
It is true that online shopping has become commonplace trendy all over the world. In fact, this has some relevant effects on the surrounding environment, and it has also shaped the sorts of demanding jobs in the labour market. There are some positive and negative consequences that could affect our lives due to online shopping. On the one hand, the issue of noise and air pollution as well as traffic congestion could be reduced to a great extent. This is because people would drive less and the number of community members wandering in the streets would greatly decrease. As a result, the traffic jam dilemma and noise pollution, especially in large metropolises could be resolved, in addition, the amount of carbon dioxide and other toxic gases emitted into the air could be dramatically decreased. This leads to boosting the quality of air and at least mitigate the occurrence of different diseases, such as bronchial asthma, chronic allergic rhinitis, stroke and heart diseases. On the other hand, the high facility in shopping process motivates people to consume more goods and companies would increase the packaging content to ensure safe delivery of their products. Therefore, the amount of household wastes would be duplicated leading to aggregation of waste problems with its detrimental consequences on our environment. Furthermore, online shopping has a significant role to play in figuring the types of jobs required in the job markets. Online shopping does not require face to face contact with clients, so many shop workers will lose their jobs. For example, there will be no more demand for sales assistants in the future as people would just surf online by themselves to check wide range of products and even compare their prices. In fact, this will result in increasing the rate of unemployment. However, there will be rising demand in certain jobs related to I. T. For instance, there will be great demand for computer programmers and web designers in order to manage websites and control some technical issues. In addition, digital marketer will find their way to great job opportunities, because they would be highly required in order to set the right marketing plan that ensure the best way of communication with customers as well as customer relationship management. Besides, delivery drivers would become a potential job as they will be more requested in order to deliver products to clients at their homes. In conclusion, it is clear that the growing global trend of online shopping has both positive and negative consequences on the environment, and it has substantial fingerprints on shaping the job markets.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has become commonplace trendy all over the world. In fact, this has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relevant effects on the surrounding environment, and it has
also
shaped the sorts of demanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
market.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences that could affect our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. On the one hand, the issue of noise and air pollution
as well
as traffic congestion could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to a great extent. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would drive less and the number of community members wandering in the streets would
greatly
decrease.
As a result
, the traffic jam dilemma and noise pollution,
especially
in large metropolises could
be resolved
,
in addition
, the amount of carbon dioxide and other toxic gases emitted into the air could be
dramatically
decreased. This leads to boosting the quality of air and at least mitigate the occurrence of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
diseases, such as bronchial asthma, chronic allergic rhinitis, stroke and heart diseases.
On the other hand
, the high facility in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
process motivates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to consume more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
would increase the packaging content to ensure safe delivery of their products.
Therefore
, the amount of household wastes would
be duplicated
leading to aggregation of waste problems with its detrimental consequences on our environment.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has a significant role to play in figuring the types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
required in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
markets.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
does not require face to face contact with clients,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
shop workers will lose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
For example
, there will be no more demand for sales assistants in the future as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
surf
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
by themselves to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
wide range of products and even compare their prices. In fact, this will result in increasing the rate of unemployment.
However
, there will be rising demand in certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
related to I. T.
For instance
, there will be great demand for computer programmers and web designers in order to manage websites and control
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
technical issues.
In addition
, digital marketer will find their way to great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they would be
highly
required in order to set the right marketing plan that ensure the best way of communication with customers
as well
as customer relationship management.
Besides
, delivery drivers would become a potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as they will be more requested in order to deliver products to clients at their homes.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the growing global trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences on the environment, and it has substantial fingerprints on shaping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
markets.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay The charts compare the spending of an average American household on six different types of products or activities in 1998 and 2008. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
430 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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