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The graph below compares changes in the both rates of China and the US between 1920 and 2000. v.1

The graph below compares changes in the both rates of China and the US between 1920 and 2000. v. 1
In the long run, advertisement is helping the manufacturer to promote and marketing their product and service to consumers. It has brought the substantial changes about imposing the development of consuming and trading in the society. Some people believe this has both positive and negative impacts on our lives, and personally, I completely agree with such viewpoint. On the one hand, active advertising activities contribute to economic development by stimulating the market. Advertising is one of the main means for marketing industrial goods and services. Without the help of aggressive advertising businesses it is difficult to publicize their products or brands. The more they advertise, the more opportunities they have to sell their goods. From the consumer's perspective, advertising also plays a clear role in making a right choice. Advertising can be informative and offers a wider range of options that best suit each consumer's interests and values. On the other hand, too much advertising money is not without social costs. First, the cost is increasing, which causes a greater burden for both customers and industry. Secondly, too many ads can encourage impulsive shopping behaviour for consumers and it can also mislead buyers by making it difficult to make the right decision. Finally, advertisements that are inappropriate for your age will cause serious problems. For example, children who are unfortunate enough to see an action-oriented ads will get them caught first even though they do not understand. In conclusion, the fact that advertisements of all types surround people can influence their lives in both positive and negative ways, and companies should consider giving the accurate information, and reduce their budgets for advertising to mitigate the drawbacks mentioned above.
In the long run, advertisement is helping the manufacturer to promote and marketing their product and service to consumers. It has brought the substantial
changes
about imposing the development of consuming and trading in the society.
Some
people
believe this has both
positive
and
negative
impacts on our
lives
, and
personally
, I completely
agree
with such viewpoint.

On the one hand, active advertising activities contribute to economic development by stimulating the market. Advertising is one of the main means for marketing industrial
goods
and services. Without the
help
of aggressive advertising businesses it is difficult to publicize their products or brands. The more they advertise, the more opportunities they
have to
sell their
goods
. From the consumer's perspective, advertising
also
plays a
clear
role in making a right choice. Advertising can be informative and offers a wider range of options that best suit each consumer's interests and values.

On the other hand
, too much advertising money is not without social costs.
First
, the cost is increasing, which causes a greater burden for both customers and industry.
Secondly
, too
many
ads can encourage impulsive shopping
behaviour
for consumers and it can
also
mislead buyers by making it difficult to
make
the right decision.
Finally
, advertisements that are inappropriate for your age will cause serious problems.
For example
, children who are unfortunate
enough
to
see
an action-oriented ads will
get
them caught
first
even though
they do not understand.

In conclusion
, the fact that advertisements of all types surround
people
can influence their
lives
in both
positive
and
negative
ways, and
companies
should consider giving the accurate information, and
reduce
their budgets for advertising to mitigate the drawbacks mentioned above.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay The graph below compares changes in the both rates of China and the US between 1920 and 2000. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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