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The graph below compares changes in the birth rates of China and the USAbetween 1920 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and makecomparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. v.1

The graph below compares changes in the birth rates of China and the USAbetween 1920 and 2000.
Over the years, tourism has grown into a huge industry. Actually, it is the backbone of many economies. For example, tourism is the main source of revenue for countries like Malaysia, Sri Lanka and Maldives. Some people, however, opine that tourism leads to tension between countries. While I agree with this statement to a certain extent, in my opinion, this is not a problem that cannot be resolved. Lack of understanding of cultures and traditions often leads to tension between tourists and locals. For example, most countries in the Middle East and South East Asia are conservative by nature. Middle Eastern countries in particular have strict codes of conduct and dressing. When tourists, especially those from the liberal West visit these countries's problems often arise. Locals expect the foreign visitors to follow their customs and traditions. Often times, the visitors simply do not care. There have even been many cases where the locals attacked tourists for disrespecting their culture. In the end, such unfortunate incidents lead to problems between the two countries. Hence, the argument that tourism leads to tension between countries certainly holds some water. Even so, in my opinion, tourism also fosters understanding. Actually, this tension can be diffused by simply promoting a culture of understanding. Countries that receive a lot of international tourists should take the moral responsibility to teach their citizens about cultural differences. Locals should be taught that they cannot expect a foreigner to behave like them or to respect their customs as they do. At the same time, countries that send a lot of tourists to other countries should also sensitize their people about the importance of respecting the culture and traditions of the country they visit. These simple measures will solve most of the problems associated with tourism. To conclude, tourism may create tension between countries when there is a lack of understanding about culture and traditions. However, nations can combat this issue by inculcating an attitude of tolerance and understanding in their citizens.
Over the years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has grown into a huge industry. Actually, it is the backbone of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
economies.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is the main source of revenue for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Malaysia, Sri Lanka and Maldives.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
however
, opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tension
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement to a certain extent, in my opinion, this is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that cannot
be resolved
.

Lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understanding
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tension
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
.
For example
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the Middle East and South East Asia are conservative by nature. Middle Eastern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in particular
have strict codes of conduct and dressing. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
,
especially
those from the liberal West visit these
Did you mean "countrie's" or "countries'"?
countries's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
arise.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Locals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
the foreign visitors to follow their customs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
times, the visitors
simply
do not care. There have even been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
attacked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
for disrespecting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, such unfortunate incidents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
between the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Hence
, the argument that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tension
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
certainly
holds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
water.

Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
also
fosters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understanding
. Actually, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tension
can
be diffused
by
simply
promoting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understanding
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
that receive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
should take the moral responsibility to teach their citizens about cultural differences.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Locals
should
be taught
that they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
a foreigner to behave like them or to respect their customs as they do. At the same time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
also
sensitize their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about the importance of respecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
they visit. These simple measures will solve most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
associated with tourism.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
may create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tension
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
when there is a lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understanding
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
.
However
, nations can combat this issue by inculcating an attitude of tolerance and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understanding
in their citizens.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay The graph below compares changes in the birth rates of China and the USAbetween 1920 and 2000.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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