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With the increased demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should lookfor sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do theadvantages outweigh the disadvantages of damaging such areas? v.1

With the increased demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should lookfor sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do theadvantages outweigh the disadvantages of damaging such areas? v. 1
We live in an age where parenting skills are a hotly debated topic. There is a general perception that it cannot be taught and doesn't have a script that works for all; however, it is also argued that the basics of parenting should be taught to every young person in schools. I strongly believe every young adult should be taught the basic fundamentals and proven methodologies of parenting in their schools. This essay would elaborate why I think so in the next couple of sections, and also speaks of a popular counter argument to my opinions. The most important skill as a parent is to lend an ear to your child. Children live in their own world, with problems that might look too immature for a grown-up adult. When the child realises his parents listen to what he has to say, that injects waste amount of self-confidence in them. Furthermore, it also boosts the confidence the child has with his parents, that he would be able to explain and seek whenever necessary. For example, bullying in school affects children in numerous ways. If they have confidence that their problems would be heard, they would certainly seek help from his parents. Being an example for your kids is another important aspect of parenting. Children do not do what they are told, but rather do what they see their parents do. Parenting experts suggest that if you want to instill the habit of reading, for instance, you should be an example in front of your kids. Researchers suggest a kid's upbringing contributes more to their behaviour than their genetic traits passed on to them from their parents. On the contrary, many argue parenting cannot be taught, as every offspring is unique in nature; eventually, there aren't any generic proven mechanisms that could be taught in schools. But they do not understand the recent researches about parenting that prove the otherwise; there are certain skills that every parent needs to possess as mentioned in the aforementioned paragraphs. Weighing up both sides of the argument, I personally believe parenting skill is essential knowledge, equally important to all other technical skills, that enables a society to nurture good future citizens. Thus, it is of paramount importance to include it in our school curriculum.
We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an age where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are a
hotly
debated topic. There is a general perception that it cannot
be taught
and doesn't have a script that works for all;
however
, it is
also
argued that the basics of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
should
be taught
to every young person in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. I
strongly
believe every young adult should
be taught
the
Consider using "fundamentals".
basic fundamentals
and proven methodologies of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. This essay would elaborate why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in the
next
couple of sections, and
also
speaks of a popular counter argument to my opinions.

The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
is to lend an ear to your child. Children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
world, with problems that might look too immature for a grown-up adult. When the child
Possible spelling mistake. 'realises' is British English.
realises
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
listen to what he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
say, that injects waste amount of self-confidence in them.
Furthermore
, it
also
boosts the confidence the child has with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, that he would be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
and seek whenever necessary.
For example
, bullying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
affects children in numerous ways. If they have confidence that their problems would
be heard
, they would
certainly
seek
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from his parents.

Being an example for your kids is another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
. Children do not do what they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rather
do what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parenting
experts suggest that if you want to instill the habit of reading,
for instance
, you should be an example in front of your kids. Researchers suggest a kid's upbringing contributes more to their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
than their genetic traits passed on to them from their parents.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
argue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
cannot
be taught
, as every offspring is unique in nature;
eventually
, there aren't any generic proven mechanisms that could
be taught
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
they do not understand the recent researches about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
that prove the
otherwise
; there are certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
needs to possess as mentioned in the aforementioned paragraphs.

Weighing up both sides of the argument, I
personally
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is essential knowledge,
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to all other technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, that enables a society to nurture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
future citizens.
Thus
, it is of paramount importance to include it in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay With the increased demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should lookfor sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do theadvantages outweigh the disadvantages of damaging such areas? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
378 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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