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More and more people now own cars. What are the problems associated with an increase in the usage of private cars? How can these problems be solved? v.2

More and more people now own cars. What are the problems associated with an increase in the usage of private cars? How can these problems be solved? v. 2
In recent years, the question of whether the public sector should exclusively perform the medical study without the participation of the private sector has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although the role of government is irreplaceable, private corporations should get involved in researching. There is a whole host of reasons why the governmental bodies should in charge of carrying out scientific study, among which the primary one is that if products such as a cure for infectious disease are produced by the state, they will gain more credibility. For profit-oriented enterprises usually take part in these projects with an aim to make money, they may have a tendency to distort research results for the sake of profit. For example, recently, a pharmaceutical company in Vietnam had faked their effectiveness to furnish the national immunization program for children with low-quality vaccines, which increase the risk of being vulnerable to sickness in children. Having said that, however, private sectors play a vitally important role in shouldering the responsibility to conduct scientific studies. By dedicating valuable monetary resources, enterprises can not only help ease the financial burden of the state, but also achieve greater scientific achievement quicker and more efficiently, compared to innovations funded by limited budget of the governmental bodies. In fact, SpaceX takes a leading portrayal in space tourism when it launched the first privately funded rocket into orbit, which created a resounding success and a great dedication to humanity, while the government has more money to invest in another domain and develop social welfare. In conclusion, both public sectors and profit-making organization plays equally indispensable part in scientific research.
In recent years,
the question of whether
the public
sector
should exclusively perform the medical study without the participation of the private
sector
has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Although the role of
government
is irreplaceable, private corporations should
get
involved in researching.

There is a whole host of reasons why the governmental bodies should in charge of carrying out
scientific
study, among which the primary one is that if products such as a cure for infectious disease
are produced
by the state, they will gain more credibility. For profit-oriented enterprises
usually
take part
in these projects with an aim to
make
money, they may have a tendency to distort research results for the sake of profit.
For example
, recently, a pharmaceutical
company
in Vietnam had faked their effectiveness to furnish the national immunization program for children with low-quality vaccines, which increase the
risk
of being vulnerable to sickness in children.

Having said that,
however
, private
sectors
play a
vitally
important
role in shouldering the responsibility to conduct
scientific
studies. By dedicating valuable monetary resources, enterprises can not
only
help
ease
the financial burden of the state,
but
also
achieve greater
scientific
achievement quicker and more
efficiently
, compared to innovations funded by limited budget of the governmental bodies. In fact, SpaceX takes a leading portrayal in space tourism when it launched the
first
privately
funded rocket into orbit, which created a resounding success and a great dedication to humanity, while the
government
has more money to invest in another domain and develop social welfare.

In conclusion
, both public
sectors
and profit-making organization plays
equally
indispensable part in
scientific
research.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people now own cars. What are the problems associated with an increase in the usage of private cars? How can these problems be solved? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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