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The graph below CO2 emission for different forms of transport in the European union. The pie chart shows the percentage of European union funds being spent on different forms of transport. v.1

The graph below CO2 emission for different forms of transport in the European union. The pie chart shows the percentage of European union funds being spent on different forms of transport. v. 1
It is argued that getting into colleges is challenging for both the wealthy and the less privileged. I agree with this statement completely for tertiary institutions now have more rigorous requirements for accepting admissions, not to mention the limited quota of students that can be admitted per year. Regardless of social status, university admission, nowadays, has become highly competitive; in the sense that not only students are required to have an excellent academic record, but they have to be creative in setting themselves apart among other applicants. In addition, some institutions even conduct an entrance examination that also has a grade requirement as part of the application process. In other words, having the financial capabilities to sustain expensive tuition fees does not guarantee a slot in the university. In a recent survey, 40% of high school graduates fail in their college pursuits due to inability to comply with the requirements. Moreover, to provide a standard quality of education and increase their success rate in producing exceptional bachelor's degree holders in the future, most colleges accept a limited number of students annually. Together with the required academic standing, many applicants, whether coming from high or low income families, become unsuccessful in being admitted into tertiary schools due to the fixed number of individuals that can be accepted. For instance, only 100 out of 20, 000 examinees can be catered in the top Medicine School in Manila. In conclusion, despite having the financial means to pay for the high cost of university fees, even students from affluent families finds it difficult to be accepted into higher education institutions. This is due to strict admission requirements and quota of students to be admitted, in which situation also applies to the poor.
It
is argued
that getting into colleges is challenging for both the wealthy and the less privileged. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement completely for tertiary institutions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have more rigorous requirements for accepting admissions, not to mention the limited quota of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
that can
be admitted
per year.

Regardless of social status, university admission, nowadays, has become
highly
competitive; in the sense that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are required
to have an excellent academic record,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be creative in setting themselves apart among other applicants.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
institutions even conduct an entrance examination that
also
has a grade requirement as part of the application process.
In other words
, having the financial capabilities to sustain expensive tuition fees does not guarantee a slot in the university.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
a recent survey, 40% of high school graduates fail in their college pursuits due to inability to comply with the requirements.

Moreover
, to provide a standard quality of education and increase their success rate in producing exceptional bachelor's degree holders in the future, most colleges accept a limited number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
annually
. Together with the required academic standing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
applicants, whether coming from high or low income families, become unsuccessful in
being admitted
into tertiary schools due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
number of individuals that can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
100 out of 20, 000
Possible spelling mistake found.
examinees
can
be catered
in the top Medicine School in Manila.

In conclusion
, despite having the financial means to pay for the high cost of university fees, even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from affluent families finds it difficult to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
into higher education institutions. This is due to strict admission requirements and quota of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
be admitted
, in which situation
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
applies to
the poor.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay The graph below CO2 emission for different forms of transport in the European union. The pie chart shows the percentage of European union funds being spent on different forms of transport. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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