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Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantage and disadvantages of this? v.5

Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantage and disadvantages of this? v. 5
Younger generations are the future of our world and many people have different views on how to teach them the values of helping others. Some people in modern society are recommending that young adults should participate in voluntary works so that they can help the community they live in. This essay will discuss some of the positives and negatives of this suggestion. Today's youth will become the backbone of our nation, therefore it is imperative to instill moral values in them, such as the importance of helping others and self sacrifice. According to the research, it has been seen that people who did some unpaid works or voluntary services to help the community in their earlier times, becomes more compassionate towards others. As a result, they understand the importance of work and the value of money. In future, when they took responsibility of a big organization or a country, this experience plays an important role in how they would fulfil their duties. On the other hand, there are some dangers as well for engaging in the working environment at a very early age. Some may experience that the working environment is very harsh that does not meet their expectations. As a result, there is a chance that they become indifferent to works. When they grow up that early fear remains in their subconscious mind and that plays a negative role in their working capabilities. To summarize, we can say that our future is greatly depends upon the younger generation, so it is very important that we take great care of our youth and give them the best possible environment to grow up.
Younger generations are the future of our world and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views on how to teach them the values of helping others.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in modern society are recommending that young adults should participate in voluntary works
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the community they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in. This essay will discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
positives and negatives of this suggestion.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's youth will become the backbone of our nation,
therefore
it is imperative to instill moral values in them, such as the importance of helping others and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self sacrifice
. According to the research, it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unpaid works or voluntary services to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the community in their earlier times, becomes more compassionate towards others.
As a result
, they understand the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and the value of money.
Did you mean: "In the future"?
In future
, when they took responsibility of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
organization or a country, this experience plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in how they would fulfil their duties.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
as well
for engaging in the working environment at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early age.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
may experience that the working environment is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harsh that does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their expectations.
As a result
, there is a chance that they become indifferent to works. When they grow up that early fear remains in their subconscious mind and that plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
role in their working capabilities.

To summarize
, we can say that our future is
greatly
depends upon the younger generation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that we take great care of our youth and give them the best possible environment to grow up.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantage and disadvantages of this? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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