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The governments should close companies that produce toxic waste materials without their own waste treatment facility in order to protect the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position. v.1

The governments should close companies that produce toxic waste materials without their own waste treatment facility in order to protect the environment. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position. v. 1
Some would argue that in order to protect the environment, governments should discontinue the operations of industries deprived of a garbage treatment plant and which release toxic waste into the environment. I completely disagree with this opinion as they are a source of income for people and creates revenue for the government. Firstly, these companies provide employment to a considerable number of people. In other words, As Industries require the manpower to run their system, they act as a source of income generation for many families. Most of the people employed are below the poverty line and depend on the daily wages received. Therefore, shutting of these companies will drag them to a state of joblessness and starvation. For example, there are at least 10 lakh people working in industries constructed across the banks of the river Ganga, hence, closing down based on the toxic released will create catastrophic consequences in their life. Secondly, The income generation to the government in the form of taxes will be affected. To be precise, The government receive a significant portion of money by the import and export of goods produced by these companies. This money is intern used for the development and security of the nation, therefore, ensuring that we with other nations. Take India, For instance, a majority of funds, including those used for the prosperity of the nation, is received by the government from these industries. To Conclude, Recognizing the need to shut companies discharging toxic substances in the surroundings is highly illogical as it will not only make people jobless but also jeopardize the asset generation for the nation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that in order to protect the environment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should discontinue the operations of industries deprived of a garbage treatment plant and which release toxic waste into the environment. I completely disagree with this opinion as they are a source of income for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and creates revenue for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

Firstly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
provide employment to a considerable number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In other words
, As Industries require the manpower to run their system, they act as a source of income generation for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
employed are below the poverty line and depend on the daily wages received.
Therefore
, shutting of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
will drag them to a state of joblessness and starvation.
For example
, there are at least 10 lakh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working in industries constructed across the banks of the river
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ganga
,
hence
, closing down based on the toxic released will create catastrophic consequences in their life.

Secondly
, The income generation to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in the form of taxes will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
. To be precise, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
receive a significant portion of money by the import and export of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
produced by these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. This money is intern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the development and security of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
,
therefore
, ensuring that we with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. Take India,
For instance
, a majority of funds, including those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the prosperity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
,
is received
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
from these industries.

To Conclude
, Recognizing the need to shut
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
discharging toxic substances in the surroundings is
highly
illogical as it will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
jobless
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
jeopardize the asset generation for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The governments should close companies that produce toxic waste materials without their own waste treatment facility in order to protect the environment. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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