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Some people say that private schools should not be allowed to exist. Why do people believe this? What is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.2

Some people say that private schools should not be allowed to exist. Why do people believe this? What is your opinion? v. 2
Some people would argue that educational system ought to be free from private schools. This is because governmental schools are usually free and offer a better schooling experience. However, in my opinion, I believe that private schooling has greater positive ramifications, both for the country and for the educational system. There are a plethora of reasons why some people are against private schooling. Firstly, the cost of education, especially for elementary schooling, is skyrocketing, which will impede some parents to have their offspring attain education if they have to pay for their schooling. For example, it is a fact that the majority of private educational institutions only have the rich children of entrepreneurs and bureaucrats who get educated. Secondly, private schools are unlikely to deliver quality education on a large scale. In other words, delivering education, of any type, not only require theoretical lectures to be delivered, but practical aspects are also involved, and the majority of independent private schools cannot deliver such sort of knowledge as they would lack in resources required. Nonetheless, regardless of the negativities, I still believe that private schooling is far better choice because this would decrease the governmental expenditures and improve educational system. With regard to the former, governments do need to provide numerous facilities to its nation, and if we release the burden of education sector from the government, it is likely that those funds can be utilized on other much-needed sectors. For instance, authorities can deploy education budget on providing new employments, which will enable individuals to earn more and afford private schooling for their juveniles. In addition, when there are a number of private schools, those educational institutions will face intense competition and will try to offer comparatively better quality of education. To conclude, although some people favour the government schooling system, I totally believe that private schooling is a far beneficial option, both for a nation and its residents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
system ought to be free from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
governmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
usually
free and offer a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
experience.
However
, in my opinion, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
has greater
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
ramifications, both for the country and for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
system.

There are a plethora of reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
.
Firstly
, the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
especially
for elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
, is skyrocketing, which will impede
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents to have their offspring attain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
if they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
.
For example
, it is a fact that the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have the rich children of entrepreneurs and bureaucrats who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
educated.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are unlikely to deliver quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
on a large scale.
In other words
, delivering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, of any type, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
require theoretical lectures to
be delivered
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
practical aspects are
also
involved, and the majority of independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
cannot deliver such sort of knowledge as they would lack in resources required.

Nonetheless, regardless of the negativities, I
still
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
is far better choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this would decrease the governmental expenditures and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
system. With regard to the former,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
do need to provide numerous facilities to its nation, and if we release the burden of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
sector from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, it is likely that those funds can
be utilized
on other much-needed sectors.
For instance
, authorities can deploy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
budget on providing new employments, which will enable individuals to earn more and afford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
for their juveniles.
In addition
, when there are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutions will face intense competition and will try to offer
comparatively
better quality of education.

To conclude
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
system, I
totally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
is a far beneficial option, both for a nation and its residents.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that private schools should not be allowed to exist. Why do people believe this? What is your opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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