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The government should close companies that produce toxic waste materials without their own waste treatment facility in order to protect the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

The government should close companies that produce toxic waste materials without their own waste treatment facility in order to protect the environment. v. 3
These days, many individuals are concerned about the surrounding world, In this regard, there is an opinion that the authorities should shut down the number of companies, which are not willing to take action in order to preserve the environment. However, others feel that if these organizations are beneficial for the government budget, they should stay untouched. There is no denying that protects the surrounding nature is essential for the individuals’ life. In this reason, the majority of people believe that the politics, should regulate and decrease the level of pollution, which are produced by industries. That is to say, they should close the companies, which are not keen to create their own recycling facilities. Otherwise, the environment can be damaged by its negative consequences, such as the extinction of the marine animals or water contamination. As a result, many people can suffer from the lack of fresh water and shortage of food. A good illustration of this is China, because many people are suffering from diseases, especially liver illnesses, which are caused by toxic waste materials. On the other hand, others feel that the authorities should penalize these companies in order to force them to create waste treatment facilities. It is widely accepted that closing such kinds of companies can damage the government budget, because the authorities can lose the significant amount of money, which big industrial companies are paying to the state as a tax. In this reason, many individuals believe that closing companies cannot be a viable option. To illustrate, many European countries, especially Scandinavian countries, force their business people to decrease the level of pollution and other toxic materials. In conclusion, although industries are generating profit for the government budget, they should be closed, if they are not willing to protect the environment, because the surrounding world is critical for individuals’ life. In addition, it can lead to the contamination of the surrounding world.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are concerned
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surrounding
world, In this regard, there is an opinion that the authorities should shut down the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, which are not willing to take action in order to preserve the environment.
However
, others feel that if these organizations are beneficial for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
budget, they should stay untouched.

There is no denying that protects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surrounding
nature is essential for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals’
life. In this reason, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the politics, should regulate and decrease the level of pollution, which
are produced
by industries.
That is
to say, they should close the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, which are not keen to create their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
recycling facilities.
Otherwise
, the environment can
be damaged
by its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences, such as the extinction of the marine animals or water contamination.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can suffer from the lack of fresh water and shortage of food. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is China,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffering from diseases,
especially
liver illnesses, which
are caused
by toxic waste materials.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others feel that the authorities should penalize these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in order to force them to create waste treatment facilities. It is
widely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that closing such kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can damage the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
budget,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the authorities can lose the significant amount of money, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are paying to the state as a tax. In this reason,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
believe that closing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
cannot be a viable option. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
European countries,
especially
Scandinavian countries, force their business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to decrease the level of pollution and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
toxic materials.

In conclusion
, although industries are generating profit for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
budget, they should
be closed
, if they are not willing to protect the environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surrounding
world is critical for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals’
life.
In addition
, it can lead to the contamination of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
surrounding
world.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay The government should close companies that produce toxic waste materials without their own waste treatment facility in order to protect the environment. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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