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the government should tax unhealthy food to encourage people to eat food that is better to their health. do you agree or disagree? v.1

the government should tax unhealthy food to encourage people to eat food that is better to their health. v. 1
Eating junk food is enjoyed by the people of all ages. It is stated that there should be heavy taxation on unhealthy meals so that, the nutritious diet is encouraged. This essay completely agrees to this idea because these actions will discourage them from eating such items in an uncontrolled manner and will also help reduce the chances of lifestyle disorders. Many people enjoy an unhealthy snack because it is cheaply and easily available. However, when the governing body will impose tax on it, it will become expensive compared to healthy options like fruits and vegetables. This will discourage them from consuming such items in an uncontrolled manner. For instance, the sales of a burger reduced drastically when ten percent GST was imposed the selling price. Thus, promoting them to choose healthy items like fruits and vegetables. In addition, these items contain high proportion of fats and salt, thereby increasing the blood level of cholesterol and sugar, leading to disorders like obesity and diabetes. Therefore, due to increased prices, their overall consumption will decrease. Thus, reducing the possibility of developing such diseases. For example, a person on a balanced diet has a rare chance of being obese or diabetic. In conclusion, all ages enjoy having various forms of junk food. This essay argued that the government should encourage the society to make healthy eating choices by imposing tax on unhealthy consumables. I completely agree because, expensive fast food will limit the overall rate of consumption and the chances of getting lifestyle disorders will decrease.
Eating junk food
is enjoyed
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of all ages. It
is stated
that there should be heavy taxation on unhealthy meals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, the nutritious diet
is encouraged
. This essay completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these actions will discourage them from eating such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
Consider replacing "in an uncontrolled manner" with the adverb for "uncontrolled"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an uncontrolled manner
and will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the chances of lifestyle disorders.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
enjoy an unhealthy snack
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
cheaply
and
easily
available.
However
, when the governing body will impose tax on it, it will become expensive compared to healthy options like fruits and vegetables. This will discourage them from consuming such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
Consider replacing "in an uncontrolled manner" with the adverb for "uncontrolled"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an uncontrolled manner
.
For instance
, the sales of a burger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
drastically
when ten percent GST
was imposed
the selling price.
Thus
, promoting them to choose healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
like fruits and vegetables.

In addition
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
contain high proportion of fats and salt, thereby increasing the blood level of cholesterol and sugar, leading to disorders like obesity and diabetes.
Therefore
, due to increased prices, their
overall
consumption will decrease.
Thus
, reducing the possibility of developing such diseases.
For example
, a person on a balanced diet has a rare chance of being obese or diabetic.

In conclusion
, all ages enjoy having various forms of junk food. This essay argued that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should encourage the society to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
healthy eating choices by imposing tax on unhealthy consumables. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, expensive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food will limit the
overall
rate of consumption and the chances of getting lifestyle disorders will decrease.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay the government should tax unhealthy food to encourage people to eat food that is better to their health. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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