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30. Some people thinks that government should tax unhealthy food to encourage people to begin to eat more healthy meals. Do you agree or disagree. v.2

30. Some people thinks that government should tax unhealthy food to encourage people to begin to eat more healthy meals. v. 2
Fast food causes many health issues among its consumers and has also created financial burdens for governments worldwide. Some people propose that high tax on junk food will discourage consumers to purchase them. I personally agree with this proposal. To begin with, higher tax on junk food will increase their retail prices on the markets or fast food restaurant. Therefore, consumers will hesitate to purchase them. As a result, less consuming junk food will help consumers stay healthy. Current researches indicate that many health issues are caused consuming too much junk food among inhabitants of all ages.  The majority of these health issues are preventable if people stay away from junk food and lead a healthy lifestyle. Moreover, the expenditure on treating these diseases has also created huge financial burdens for governments worldwide. In addition, in the current societies, people tend to have hectic lifestyles and seldom prepare meals themselves. Besides this, the cheap prices of unhealthy food also attract their customers as well. If governments elevate the tax on unhealthy food, customers would tend to select more healthy one with similar prices. For example, people tend to drink a less amount of cokes or other soft drinks if their prices are elevated. In addition, higher tax on fast food will also enhance the revenue income for governments. Eating nutrient food contributes healthy bodies for consumers. In conclusion, healthy eating habits will contribute healthy inhabitants; however, low-price and delicious junk food will spoil their eating habits. Elevated tax on junk food by governments worldwide will increase their prices for which customers are discouraged to purchase them to eat. People will stay healthy by selecting nutrient food rather than junk food.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
causes 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health issues among its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
and has
also
 created financial burdens for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
worldwide.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
propose that high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
them. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this proposal.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will increase their retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
on the markets or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
restaurant.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
will hesitate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
them.
As a result
, less consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Current
researches indicate that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health issues
are caused
consuming too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
among inhabitants of all ages.  The majority of these health issues are preventable if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stay away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and lead a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle.
Moreover
, the expenditure on treating these diseases has
also
created huge financial burdens for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
worldwide.

In addition
, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
societies,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to have hectic lifestyles and seldom prepare meals themselves.
Besides
this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
also
attract their customers
as well
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
elevate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, customers would tend to select more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
one with similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to drink a less amount of cokes or other soft drinks if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
are elevated
. In addition, higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will
also
enhance the revenue income for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
. Eating nutrient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
contributes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
bodies for consumers.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
eating habits will contribute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
inhabitants;
however
, low-price and delicious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will spoil their eating habits. Elevated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
worldwide will increase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
for which customers
are discouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
them to eat.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
by selecting nutrient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay 30. Some people thinks that government should tax unhealthy food to encourage people to begin to eat more healthy meals. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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