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The government should take responsibility for their actions to the environment. To what extent do you agree? v.1

The government should take responsibility for their actions to the environment. v. 1
Environmental damage can cause the extinction of some species due to the loss of their natural habitats and food sources. It is believed that government has the biggest power for taking the course of actions to save the environment. In this essay, I shall give some facts and opinions to support this statement. To begin with, only the government who has the privilege to state some regulations in the constitutions and enforce the law for either small or big violation. For example, spitting and littering, illegal logging, dumping unprocessed waste to the rivers, and so on. While the environmental activists only can report and do some protests to protect our nature, the government has the rights to fine and jail either citizens or companies who damage the environment. Second, only the government who has the rights to build a conservation land for the endangered species. For example, the building of one-horned rhinoceros in Banten, West Java. This can prevent the extinction of the endangered species. Another example is the damaging of Borneo’s forest that ruin the Orang Utans’ life. These animals need to be relocated soon as the government is still solving the issues regarding the forest destruction happened in Borneo island. Orang Utans can be sent back to their natural habitat after the problem has been solved. In conclusion, the government has the mandate to enforce the law and has the rights to build a conservation land to protect the endangered species and its habitat. Hence, I believe that government has to do some necessary course of actions to save the environment.
Environmental damage can cause the extinction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species due to the loss of their natural habitats and food sources. It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has the biggest power for taking the course of actions to save the environment. In this essay, I shall give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
facts and opinions to support this statement.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
who has the privilege to state
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
regulations in the constitutions and enforce the law for either
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
violation.
For example
, spitting and littering, illegal logging, dumping unprocessed waste to the rivers, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. While the environmental activists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can report and do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
protests to protect our nature, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has the rights to fine and jail either citizens or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
who damage the environment.

Second,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
who has the rights to build a conservation land for the endangered species.
For example
, the building of one-horned rhinoceros in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Banten
, West Java. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the extinction of the endangered species. Another example is the damaging of Borneo’s forest that ruin the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Orang
Possible spelling mistake found.
Utans
’ life. These animals need to
be relocated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is
still
solving the issues regarding the forest destruction happened in Borneo island.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Orang
Possible spelling mistake found.
Utans
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
back to their natural habitat after the problem has
been solved
.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has the mandate to enforce the law and has the rights to build a conservation land to protect the endangered species and its habitat.
Hence
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
necessary course of actions to save the environment.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay The government should take responsibility for their actions to the environment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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