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Poor people and those living in the rural areas find it difficult to acess university education. University should make it easy for persons from this background. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.1

Poor people and those living in the rural areas find it difficult to acess university education. University should make it easy for persons from this background. v. 1
Tertiary education is not easily accessible to impoverished persons and those residing in local communities and so, according to some, colleges should make it less difficult for persons from this social class. In my opinion, universities ought to make higher education easier for poor students and those in rural areas because it promotes equality and benefits society. To begin, a principal reason why universities ought to ensure students from low economic background and non-urban areas have easy access to them is that it enhances equality. In other words, students with low finances are given the same opportunities as their counterparts from wealthy families and urban areas which will in turn prevent discrimination. To exemplify persons with low socioeconomic status and from rural areas were able to attend the same university as those from wealthy families in my state because the University awarded and provided scholarships schemes for the indigent students. Another reason why universities should make it easy for these students in question is that it benefits society. Owing to the fact that, if more students, irrespective of their financial status or place of residence can access higher education, this will consequently increase the number of educated persons in the society and greatly improve the work force of the nation. For instance, when indigent students are given the opportunity to attend universities, they not only improve their lives but also upgrade their families when they become gainfully employed, therefore reducing the poverty level in the society. In conclusion, I believe that universities should avail persons from indigent homes and local areas the opportunity to access them easily because it promotes equality and its advantageous to the society.
Tertiary education is not
easily
accessible to impoverished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
and those residing in local communities and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, colleges should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it less difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
from this social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
higher education easier for poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and those in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it promotes equality and benefits society.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, a principal reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
ought to ensure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from low economic background and non-urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
have easy access to them is that it enhances equality.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with low finances are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the same opportunities as their counterparts from wealthy families and urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
which will in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
discrimination. To exemplify
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
with low socioeconomic status and from rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
were able to attend the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
as those from wealthy families in my state
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
awarded and provided scholarships schemes for the indigent students.

Another reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easy for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in question is that it benefits society. Owing to the fact that, if more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, irrespective of their financial status or place of residence can access higher education, this will
consequently
increase the number of educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
in the society and
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the work force of the nation.
For instance
, when indigent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the opportunity to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
upgrade their families when they become
gainfully
employed,
therefore
reducing the poverty level in the society.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should avail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
from indigent homes and local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
the opportunity to access them
easily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it promotes equality and
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
advantageous to the society.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Poor people and those living in the rural areas find it difficult to acess university education. University should make it easy for persons from this background. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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