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Scientists believe that in order to protect the environment people must use less energy in their daily use. However, most people have not changed the way they live. Why do you think many people have not taken individual actions. What could be done to encourage them to take actions? v.2

Scientists believe that in order to protect the environment people must use less energy in their daily use. However, most people have not changed the way they live. Why do you think many people have not taken individual actions. What could be done to encourage them to take actions? v. 2
The issue of environmental damage has become a matter of discussion for many. As people continue to follow poor electricity usage, the concerns regarding this topic are growing rapidly worldwide. In this essay, I shall outline the main causes for this development and analyse the possible solutions. To start with, there are numerous predominant reasons, that could be causing this problem. Firstly, a large portion of the public is still unaware about the ways by which they could save electricity in their daily use. For example, a recent study published at the Stanford University, showed that only 15% of the houses in the America use LED lights, while the rest of the public still uses old gas filled bulbs that consume a large amount of power. Secondly, in many countries, their government has failed to spread the awareness about the serious consequences of this trend. This has resulted in public ignoring this topic and continued to not change the way they live. So what can be done? I believe that this problem has to be tackled on a number of levels. For example, by ensuring that the people are educated on this topic and that they are given proper instructions on electricity preservation. In addition, the government could ban the sell of any electronic product that does not follow power consumption guidelines. Thus, entirely eliminating any chances of people using such products. In conclusion, this is a topic which raises many questions in the contemporary life. From the given arguments and examples, I am inclined to say that a change can only be expected if both government and public work together against this global threat. In the future, it will be fruitful to review the reasoning stated above in order to realise any improvement in this direction.
The issue of environmental damage has become a matter of discussion for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
continue to follow poor electricity usage, the concerns regarding this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topic
are growing
rapidly
worldwide. In this essay, I shall outline the main causes for this development and
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the possible solutions.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, there are numerous predominant reasons, that could be causing this problem.
Firstly
, a large portion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
is
still
unaware about the ways by which they could save electricity in their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
For example
, a recent study published at the Stanford University,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15% of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
in the America
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
LED lights, while the rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
gas filled bulbs that consume a large amount of power.
Secondly
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has failed to spread the awareness about the serious consequences of this trend. This has resulted in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
ignoring this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topic
and continued to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the way they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
what can
be done
? I believe that this problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be tackled
on a number of levels.
For example
, by ensuring that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are educated
on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topic
and that they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
proper instructions on electricity preservation.
In addition
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could ban the sell of any electronic product that does not follow power consumption guidelines.
Thus
,
entirely
eliminating any chances of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using such products.

In conclusion
, this is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topic
which raises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
questions in the contemporary life. From the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
arguments and examples, I
am inclined
to say that a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
if both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
work together against this global threat. In the future, it will be fruitful to review the reasoning stated above in order to
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
any improvement in this direction.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Scientists believe that in order to protect the environment people must use less energy in their daily use. However, most people have not changed the way they live. Why do you think many people have not taken individual actions. What could be done to encourage them to take actions? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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