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The government can take a variety of actions to help protect the environment. Whichone of the following do you think is the most important for the nation’s governmentto take to protect the environment. 1. Fund the research to develop environmentally frie v.2

The government can take a variety of actions to help protect the environment. Whichone of the following do you think is the most important for the nation’s governmentto take to protect the environment. 1. Fund the research to develop environmentally frie v. 2
As far as I am concerned, it ie of great importance to enforce laws to prevent the big companies from polluting the air and water, because big companies with large scale of production can jeopardize the environment severely and have detrimental influence on the whole society. In addition, compared with the other two actions, the third action is more strict and has instant but endurable effect. First and foremost, big companies that acquire larger amount of resources from the society have more responsibilities and once they ignore their responsibilities and merely concentrate on the profit, disasters will occur. For instance, if we look through the website for some environment news, it' s not scarce that leaking petrol in the ocean, polluted water emission, and the abuse of detrimental chemicals happen everywhere on earth every day. Those big companies with big power are supposed to utilize advanced technologies to protect the environment, but without the laws they may only focus on their profit, making them to take the risk of harming the environment to pursue money and interest. Therefore, it is important to enforce laws to circumscribe the behavior of the big companies. Furthermore, the big companies are under the supervision of the whole society, which amplifies their role of example. So if some big companies are reluctant or passive to participate into the action to protect the environment, the conscience of the employees and the head managers deserve suspect. And if people from these companies spread their false vale to their community and family, we cannot estimate the negative influence they have on the whole society. Likewise, if other startups and small companies witness the action of leader in their industries, it is likely the startups and small companies will emulate these big companies due to the pressure of survival and development. In this way, our society will be caught in the negative feedback, making environment protection impossible. Last but not the least, compared with the other two actions, limitation on the big companies is apparently more effective because of their capacity and influence as I mentioned above. However, if we choose to give the research on environmentally friendly energy priority, there is no guarantee that we can obtain the energy timely to protect the environment. The long period of the researches inhibits us from adopting the first method as major action. Similarly, preserve the natural places could have instance effect as the third action because the protect of forests also demands abundant time. So the third action is more effective than other two actions, which adds importance to the third action. In conclusion, enforcing laws to limit the companies is the most important action to take, not only because the responsibilities the big companies have on their shoulders and their model effect on the whole society, but also because it is more effective than the other two actions.
As far as I
am concerned
, it
Possible spelling mistake found.
ie
of great importance to enforce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
from polluting the air and water,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
with large scale of production can jeopardize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
severely
and have detrimental influence on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
In addition
, compared with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
two actions, the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
action
is more strict and has instant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
endurable effect.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
that acquire larger amount of resources from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
have more responsibilities and once they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
their responsibilities and
merely
concentrate on the profit, disasters will occur.
For instance
, if we look through the website for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
news,
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s not scarce that leaking petrol in the ocean, polluted water emission, and the abuse of detrimental chemicals happen everywhere on earth every day. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
power
are supposed
to utilize advanced technologies to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
without the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on their profit, making them to take the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of harming the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
to pursue money and interest.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to enforce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
to circumscribe the behavior of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are under the supervision of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, which amplifies their role of example.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are reluctant or passive to participate into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
action
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, the conscience of the employees and the head managers deserve suspect. And if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
spread their false vale to their community and family, we cannot estimate the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence they have on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Likewise
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
startups and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
witness the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
action
of leader in their industries, it is likely the startups and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
will emulate these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
due to the pressure of survival and development. In this way, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
will
be caught
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
feedback, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
protection impossible.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, compared with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
two actions, limitation on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
is
apparently
more effective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their capacity and influence as I mentioned above.
However
, if we choose to give the research on
environmentally
friendly energy priority, there is no guarantee that we can obtain the energy timely to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. The long period of the researches inhibits us from adopting the
first
method as major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
action
.
Similarly
, preserve the natural places could have instance effect as the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
action
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
of forests
also
demands abundant time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
action
is more effective than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
two actions, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
importance to the third action.

In conclusion
, enforcing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
to limit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
action
to take, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the responsibilities the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have on their shoulders and their model effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is more effective than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
two actions.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
61Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay The government can take a variety of actions to help protect the environment. Whichone of the following do you think is the most important for the nation’s governmentto take to protect the environment. 1. Fund the research to develop environmentally frie v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
479 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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