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Scientists believe that in order to protect the environment people must use less energy in their daily use. However, most people have not changed the way they live. Why do you think many people have not taken individual actions. What could be done to encourage them to take actions? v.1

Scientists believe that in order to protect the environment people must use less energy in their daily use. However, most people have not changed the way they live. Why do you think many people have not taken individual actions. What could be done to encourage them to take actions? v. 1
Today our environment is negatively affected by the excessive use of fossil fuels, which many people consume in various ways in their daily lives, such as petrol, diesel for vehicles and coal for generating electricity. But most of the people are not aware of the effects of their actions have on the environment. So they should be taught about how to make better decisions to save our planet. Only government cannot do this alone the local bodies should also be encouraged to protect the environment. Firstly, people have not started to change the way they live due to the lack of awareness because most of the people are illiterate so they have no idea about the consequences of the excessive use of energy sources on the environment. That is to say, many activists keep preaching about how everyone can decrease their energy consumption, but people do not want to get knowledge about the alternatives from which they consume energy because they do not want to modify their lifestyle. Secondly, it is the responsibility of the scientists and activists to increase the awareness of the public. There are many ways which can be adopted like public campaign, plays, also with the help of the media to give sufficient amount of knowledge to public. In addition to this people should not only be taught about the negative impacts they have on the environment but also they should be motivated to make better decisions. In conclusion, due to the lack of awareness people do not want to change their lifestyle and also they have no idea about the consequences they would have in the future. So there is a need to spend wisely to increase the awareness and knowledge of the consumers about better options for satisfying their everyday every needs.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of fossil fuels, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consume in various ways in their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, such as petrol, diesel for vehicles and coal for generating electricity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not aware of the effects of their actions have on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they should
be taught
about how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better decisions to save our planet.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
cannot do this alone the local bodies should
also
be encouraged
to protect the environment.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the way they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
due to the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are illiterate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about the consequences of the excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of energy sources on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
That is
to say,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
activists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
preaching about how everyone can decrease their energy consumption,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
knowledge about the alternatives from which they consume energy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not want to modify their lifestyle.

Secondly
, it is the responsibility of the scientists and activists to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
of the public. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways which can
be adopted
like public campaign, plays,
also
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the media to give sufficient amount of knowledge to public.
In addition
to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be taught
about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts they have on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they should
be motivated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better decisions.

In conclusion
, due to the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their lifestyle and
also
they have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about the consequences they would have in the future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
there is a need to spend
wisely
to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
and knowledge of the consumers about better options for satisfying their
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
every needs.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Scientists believe that in order to protect the environment people must use less energy in their daily use. However, most people have not changed the way they live. Why do you think many people have not taken individual actions. What could be done to encourage them to take actions? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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