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The government should spend more money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree? v.1

The government should spend more money on railways rather than roads. v. 1
Transportation is playing an important every nation’s development process and this is an essential aspect of our life for mobility which is available used by the general public. I agree with the idea of the governments investing more money on railway systems rather than roads. In this essay, I will examine some reasons to support my ideas. To begin with, using rail line is safer than using roads. On the roads, the city will be an improvement in traffic because of reduction of traffics. They're so not get in stuck in traffic and some accidents with cars on roads while on the line has nothing which can be disturbed the way of trains. As a result, people can reach their destinations on time, which means people can spend less time on commuting or travelling due to trains are faster and safer. According to some studies, there are more accidents by around 30 percent on roads than track roads. The government has the major responsibility to make the country more convenience and safe, hence they should invest money in track systems. Another reason is that trains can carry more people and, also they are eco-friendly. They do not emit poisonous gases. Unlike cars or buses which pollute the air. In many countries, train fares are considerably lower than bus fare. Consequently, we can reduce one of the serious environmental problems, global warming by reducing the level of carbon dioxide gases. Additionally, the number of people with lung diseases can be decreased. To sum up, I support to the idea of the government should spend more money on railways system.
Transportation is playing an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
every nation’s development process and this is an essential aspect of our life for mobility which is available
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the
Consider using "public".
general public
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
investing more money on railway systems
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. In this essay, I will examine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons to support my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, using rail line is safer than using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, the city will be an improvement in traffic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of reduction of traffics. They're
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
in stuck in
traffic and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
accidents with cars on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
while on the line has nothing which can
be disturbed
the way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can reach their destinations on time, which means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can spend less time on commuting or travelling due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
are faster and safer. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
studies, there are more accidents by around 30 percent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has the major responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the country more convenience and safe,
hence
they should invest money in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
systems. Another reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
can carry more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and,
also
they are eco-friendly. They do not emit poisonous gases. Unlike cars or buses which pollute the air. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
fares are
considerably
lower than bus fare.
Consequently
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
one of the serious environmental problems, global warming by reducing the level of carbon dioxide gases.
Additionally
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with lung diseases can
be decreased
.

To sum up, I support to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend more money on
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "railways'" or "railway's"?
railways
system.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay The government should spend more money on railways rather than roads. v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
268 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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