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Government should spend more money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.1

Government should spend more money on railways rather than roads. v. 1
Transportation plays a vital role in our daily lives and many initiatives have been taken by government in order to improvise it further. A certain amount of the population believe that government should focus more on developing railway's infrastructure rather than roadways. While some still believe Roadways are to be priorities ahead of railways. However this essay will discuss why government should fund on the railways, but not on the roadways. On one hand, People believe railways need more funding because of its lack of current infrastructure and its capabilities. They have this opinion because there are only a few routes in and around the country which can a company large population. For instance, when my family had decided to visit Hyderabad late in Novemeber, they couldn't book any because there are only two trains available for this location and the number of people travelling are much higher. Hence, due to the fact of having less trains, government should fund on railways in order to serve better. On the other hand, Few believe roadways need more attention during the budget allocation rather than on railways. Most of the road which are currently available are old and can find a lot of pot holes in them. This situation will become worse when it rains heavily. For example, Last night it rained heavily and most of the roads were blocked as all the potholes were filled with rain water which made hard to commute through road. Hence, looking at the current condition of the road, government should consider funding more on road ways. To conclude, roadways and railways, both have their own backdrops in their current infrastructure conditions. Railways need more routes and trains while roadways need a new ones as they are old. I would completely agree on the fact that the railways need to be funded more as it can fulfil large population needs and can help people to commute long distance.
Transportation plays a vital role in our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
initiatives have
been taken
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in order to improvise it
further
. A certain amount of the population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should focus more on developing railway's infrastructure
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roadways
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Roadways
are to be priorities ahead of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
this essay will discuss why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should fund on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not on the roadways.

On one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
more funding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its lack of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
infrastructure and its capabilities. They have this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few routes in and around the country which can a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
large population.
For instance
, when my family had decided to visit Hyderabad late in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Novemeber
, they couldn't book any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
two trains available for this location and the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travelling are much higher.
Hence
, due to the fact of having
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun trains is countable.
less
trains,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should fund on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
in order to serve better.

On the other hand
, Few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roadways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
more attention during the budget allocation
rather
than on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
which are
currently
available are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pot holes in them. This situation will become worse when it rains
heavily
.
For example
, Last night it rained
heavily
and most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
were blocked
as all the potholes
were filled
with rain water which made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to commute through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
.
Hence
, looking at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
condition of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should consider funding more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
ways.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roadways
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
, both have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
backdrops in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
infrastructure conditions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Railways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
more routes and trains while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roadways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
a new
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "one"?
ones
as they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. I would completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be funded
more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
it can fulfil large population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to commute long distance.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Government should spend more money on railways rather than roads. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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