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The government should reduce the amount of money spent on local environmental problems and instead increase funding into urgent and more threatening issues such as global warming To what extent do you agree v.4

The government should reduce the amount of money spent on local environmental problems and instead increase funding into urgent and more threatening issues such as global warming 4
Undoubtedly environmental problems have become the most thread to the survival of the humanity. There is a controversial debate that heads of the states should decrease the budget that are allocated to the local environment issues and instead increase the fund with respect to vital issues like global warming, deforestation, and etc. To me, this idea is appealing in the view of the fact that these events would gradually not only contribute to vanishing of the lands, but it would result in severe air pollution. On the one hand, global warming is one of the important issues that would have detrimental effect on the disappearance of the islands and shores throughout the globe. Reportedly, the temperature of the earth is increasing annually by 1 degree of the Celsius. So, this phenomenon would contribute to melting of the ice caps of the south and north poles. Hence, the increase in the level of the sea and oceans may cause flood throughout the world and also disappearance of the lands. For example according to the latest survey of the Michigan university, in the next ten years, sixty percent of the island of the japan will drown. This catastrophic issue is mainly caused by toxic emission of the old cars in the large cities. The old vehicles produce large amount of the carbon dioxide that is one of the immense causes of this increase in the temperature. Therefore, government should take action immediately with respect to this issue. Accordingly, they should do something regarding the replacing old cars with new ones and urge the car owner to have regular check up. On the other hand, when it comes to air pollution, there are a lot of factors that lead to acceleration of this phenomenon. One of the most mainspring factor that always is neglected by people is deforestation. Reportedly, trees absorb carbon dioxide in the air and produce oxygen that we all breathe. These days, people tend to live in urban area. Hence, they sacrifice the forest in order to build new high rising building and roads. For example, thirty percent of the forest in the north of Iran is disappearing in the light of the fact that people spread their cities across the jungles. So, it would be wise if government confined people not to abuse nature in order to build these infrastructures. Similarly, they can re-cultivate some areas, people have exploited. To sum up, in my personal view, the most urgent issues like global warming and deforestation shouldn’t be underestimated. It is believed that government of the countries should consider more financial support to handling these most threatening events. Not only would it result in creating the superior earth to live, but also it would guarantee the next generation.
Undoubtedly
environmental problems have become the most thread to the survival of the humanity. There is a controversial debate that heads of the states should decrease the budget that
are allocated
to the local environment
issues
and
instead
increase the fund with respect to vital
issues
like global warming, deforestation,
and etc
. To me, this
idea
is appealing in the view of the fact that these
events
would
gradually
not
only
contribute to vanishing of the lands,
but
it would result in severe air pollution.

On the one hand, global warming is one of the
important
issues
that would have detrimental effect on the disappearance of the islands and shores throughout the globe. Reportedly, the temperature of the earth is increasing
annually
by 1 degree of the Celsius.
So
, this phenomenon would contribute to melting of the ice caps of the south and north poles.
Hence
, the increase in the level of the sea and oceans may cause flood throughout the world and
also
disappearance of the lands.
For example
according to the latest survey of the Michigan university, in the
next
ten years, sixty percent of the island of the japan will drown. This catastrophic
issue
is
mainly
caused by toxic emission of the
old
cars in the large cities. The
old
vehicles produce large amount of the carbon dioxide
that is
one of the immense causes of this increase in the temperature.
Therefore
,
government
should take action immediately with respect to this
issue
.
Accordingly
, they should do something regarding the replacing
old
cars with new ones and urge the car owner to have regular
check
up.

On the other hand
, when it
comes
to air pollution, there are
a lot of
factors that lead to acceleration of this phenomenon. One of the most mainspring factor that always
is neglected
by
people
is
deforestation. Reportedly, trees absorb carbon dioxide in the air and produce oxygen that we all breathe. These days,
people
tend to
live
in urban area.
Hence
, they sacrifice the forest in order to build new high rising building and roads.
For example
, thirty percent of the forest in the north of Iran is disappearing in the light of the fact that
people
spread their cities across the jungles.
So
, it would be wise if
government
confined
people
not to abuse nature in order to build these infrastructures.
Similarly
, they can re-cultivate
some
areas,
people
have exploited.

To sum up, in my personal view, the most urgent
issues
like global warming and deforestation shouldn’t
be underestimated
. It
is believed
that
government
of the countries should consider more financial support to handling these most threatening
events
. Not
only
would it result in creating the superior earth to
live
,
but
also
it would guarantee the
next
generation.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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IELTS essay The government should reduce the amount of money spent on local environmental problems and instead increase funding into urgent and more threatening issues such as global warming 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
458 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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