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The government should reduce the amount of money spent on local environmental problems and instead increase funding into urgent and more threatening issues such as global warming. To what extend do you agree? v.1

The government should reduce the amount of money spent on local environmental problems and instead increase funding into urgent and more threatening issues such as global warming. v. 1
Environmental issues either at the local level or at the global scale require massive support from the administrations across the world. It is argued that the government should lessen its spending on domestic environmental issues and allocate more funding towards more urgent and pressing issues like global warming. I disagree with this argument that investing in solving domestic environmental problems require fewer resources as compared to the other major environmental issues. To begin with, all the major environmental concerns of today have evolved from pollution created at the local scale. In other words, global warming is the outcome of an increasing amount of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere by cities around the world. For example, an increasing number of motor vehicles in cities is one of the significant factors which needs immediate attention from the administration. In some countries, governments are taking some crucial steps in this regard such as discouraging car usage by introducing efficient mass transport systems in cities, which requires a sizeable amount of investment. Therefore, reducing the amount of money to be spent on overcoming this problem will result in more damage to the global environment. Moreover, besides the rising level of pollutants in the air by cars in cities, most of the countries are also accelerating global warming through deforestation. Forests are considered as the lungs of the earth, which absorb carbon dioxide and release oxygen to the atmosphere. This process not only keeps the air clean but also regulates the earth surface temperature. But some developing countries are clear-cutting their forests in order to maintain their lifestyle. However, governments in these countries have started to realize the impact of deforestation and now they are moving towards implementing conservation and preservation policies to protect these forests. Moreover, some states have also started reforestation activities. For instance, recently, Ethiopia set a world record to plant 350 million trees to the designated areas across the country within 12 hours. In conclusion, in my opinion, local environmental issues such as greenhouse gas emission and deforestation are the most critical factors which lead to the most pressing problem of global warming today. Therefore, the governments ought to continue funding the solutions of these issues rather than discontinue it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
either at the local level or at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
scale require massive support from the administrations across the world. It
is argued
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should lessen its spending on domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
and allocate more funding towards more urgent and pressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
. I disagree with this argument that investing in solving domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems require fewer resources as compared to the other major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, all the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
concerns of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
have evolved from pollution created at the local scale.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
is the outcome of an increasing amount of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
around the world.
For example
, an increasing number of motor vehicles in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is one of the significant factors which needs immediate attention from the administration. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
crucial steps in this regard such as discouraging car usage by introducing efficient mass transport systems in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, which requires a sizeable amount of investment.
Therefore
, reducing the amount of money to
be spent
on overcoming this problem will result in more damage to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
environment.

Moreover
,
besides
the rising level of pollutants in the air by cars in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
also
accelerating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
through deforestation. Forests
are considered
as the lungs of the earth, which absorb carbon dioxide and release oxygen to the atmosphere. This process not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
the air clean
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
regulates the earth surface temperature.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
-cutting their forests in order to maintain their lifestyle.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to realize the impact of deforestation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they are moving towards implementing conservation and preservation policies to protect these forests.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
states have
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
reforestation activities.
For instance
, recently, Ethiopia set a world record to plant 350 million trees to the designated areas across the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
within 12 hours.

In conclusion
, in my opinion, local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
such as greenhouse gas emission and deforestation are the most critical factors which lead to the most pressing problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
ought to continue funding the solutions of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
rather
than discontinue it.
21Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay The government should reduce the amount of money spent on local environmental problems and instead increase funding into urgent and more threatening issues such as global warming. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
369 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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