Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

do you agree or disagree? young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities. v.144

young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities. v. 144
The question is whether young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities or not. Everyone in regard to his private viewpoints can maintain a specific direction in related with this issue, however in my vantage point; this sentence has an exaggeration view toward youth. I refute it and my arguments are listed below that will strengthen my point of view: To begin with, take look to different aspect from this issue. It goes without saying that the biggest dream young people are fame. The tendency of being famous has caused youth to try for obtaining new things in any ground. The competition for the newest inventions or gaining the championship in different sports has created an excitement surge among young population. It is valid that young people endeavor to get benefit for their own life, however their efforts spontaneously will affect on quality of community. The second reason why I disagree with this point of view lies in the fact that if youth are apathetic toward their society, the philosophy of the existence of the universities will be meaningless. Nobody could overlook that the universities play a crucial role in developing a society. It is axiomatic that when students study in different fields, will attract to labor market after the graduation. This is another noticeable support that young generation is able to optimize the different sections of community. Having discussed this issue from this point of view, I tend to empower my claim by the following discussion. Since all youth do not enter to the university, the rest of them will try to find a work in consideration to his abilities. It can be said that the gears of industry will be turned by them. A country with being up-dated in industry major is a serious menace for other communities. By taking all above mentioned arguments into the consideration, the following conclusion could be drawn about this issue. Young people whether intentionally or unintentionally are helping to society. Their effort will set their country in peak of progress.
The question is whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays do not give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to helping their communities or not. Everyone in regard to his private viewpoints can maintain a specific direction in related with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
,
however
in my vantage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
; this sentence has an exaggeration view toward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
. I refute it and my arguments
are listed
below that will strengthen my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
of view:

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, take look to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
aspect from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
. It goes without saying that the biggest dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are fame. The tendency of being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
has caused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
to try for obtaining new things in any ground. The competition for the newest inventions or gaining the championship in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
sports has created an excitement surge among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
population. It is valid that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
endeavor to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefit for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life,
however
their efforts
spontaneously
will
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on quality of community.

The second reason why I disagree with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
of view lies in the fact that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
are apathetic toward their society, the philosophy of the existence of the universities will be meaningless. Nobody could overlook that the universities play a crucial role in developing a society. It is axiomatic that when students study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
fields, will attract to labor market after the graduation. This is another noticeable support that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation is able to optimize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
sections of community.

Having discussed this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
of view, I tend to empower my claim by the following discussion. Since all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
do not enter to the university, the rest of them will try to find a work in consideration to his abilities. It can
be said
that the gears of industry will
be turned
by them. A country with being up-dated in industry major is a serious menace for other communities.

By taking all above mentioned arguments into the consideration, the following conclusion could
be drawn
about this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whether
intentionally
or
unintentionally
are helping to society. Their effort will set their country in peak of progress.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities. v. 144

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
342 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts