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The government should encourage industries and business to move out of big cities and into regional areas. v.1

The government should encourage industries and business to move out of big cities and into regional areas. v. 1
Industries and businesses are mostly situated in city areas and problems associated with this bring up the idea of moving the industries and enterprises from the big cities to the countryside. I believe this action will be a good solution for some major problems. This step will offer far more benefits than the disadvantages it has. Moving big industries, factories and other offices to regional areas has few disadvantages like transportation scarcity, the cost of rebuilding and finding new employees but this shift will offer significant benefits both for the city and rural people. Firstly, moving the industries from city to rural areas is a herculean task. Furthermore, the financial concern is also important. For instance, re-establishing business in a regional area needs more money, and time. In addition, transportation facility in rural areas will be another concern for many businesses. Again, most of the employees in a current factory will not move to the rural area and that would make it difficult to move a running factory to a regional area.   Finally, industries will diminish the tranquillity in the rural area by polluting the environment and resulting extinction of flora and fauna in the village areas. However, moving industries and other enterprises to the countryside from the cities will reduce the major problems like pollutions, traffic jams, housing problems and crimes in many cities. This will also create more job opportunities in the country sides. Moreover, the transportation facilities will improve in rural areas and city life will get relief from the choking traffic. In addition to this, the living standard of the rural areas will be upgraded with demanding educational and health services. Over population is a major concern for many cities and the decentralisation would be a great step to reducing the population ration in cities. Furthermore, in many cases, a country’s economic development relies on the development of the rural area and this step will ensure proper development of the rural area. Industries, factories and other big businesses are the main reasons many cities are polluted and the shift would ensure a healthy living place in city areas. After considering both sides, moving the industries the to the countryside is a long-term task but it will ensure the equal distribution of population and facilities throughout the country. I hope this action will alleviate the perilous condition of city life as well as will help the rural area to develop faster.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Industries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
are
mostly
situated in city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
associated with this bring up the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
and enterprises from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to the countryside. I believe this action will be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
solution for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. This step will offer far more benefits than the disadvantages it has.

Moving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
and other offices to regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
has few disadvantages like transportation scarcity, the cost of rebuilding and finding new employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this shift will offer significant benefits both for the city and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
from city to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is a
Possible incorrect capitalization. Some adjectives that are derived from proper nouns can have both an initial capital letter and an initial lower case letter. If there is a close association with the proper noun, use "Herculean".
herculean
task.
Furthermore
, the financial concern is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
For instance
, re-establishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
in a regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
needs more money, and time.
In addition
, transportation facility in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
will be another concern for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
. Again, most of the employees in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
a running
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
to a regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
will diminish the
Possible spelling mistake found.
tranquillity
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
by polluting the environment and resulting extinction of flora and fauna in the village areas.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
and other enterprises to the countryside from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
like pollutions, traffic jams, housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and crimes in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. This will
also
create more job opportunities in the country sides.
Moreover
, the transportation facilities will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and city life will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
relief from the choking traffic.
In addition
to this, the living standard of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
will
be upgraded
with demanding educational and health services. Over population is a major concern for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and the
Possible spelling mistake. 'decentralisation' is British English.
decentralisation
would be a great step to reducing the population ration in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Furthermore
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, a country’s economic development relies on the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and this step will ensure proper development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Industries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
and other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
are the main reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are polluted
and the shift would ensure a healthy living place in city areas.

After considering both sides,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
the to the countryside is a long-term task
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will ensure the equal distribution of population and facilities throughout the country. I hope this action will alleviate the perilous condition of city life
as well
as will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
to develop faster.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
53Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
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Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay The government should encourage industries and business to move out of big cities and into regional areas. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
405 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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