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In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move out of the cities and into regional areas. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. v.1

In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move out of the cities and into regional areas. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. v. 1
Opinions vary on whether the authority is urging industries and businesses be relocated in suburban areas rather than inner cities. I am of the opinion that the disadvantages are eclipsed by the advantages. It is undeniable that there are some drawbacks in this case in some extents. The major contribution is that the governments have to cost a lot of money to build up infrastructure to serve the industries and businesses relocation, for example, it is essential to construct the traffic system for delivering materials and products, which put a weighty financial burden on the poor countries. Another point is that it makes a huge change about human resources and the companies must consider distributing employees and managers to the remote areas, which pose a number of employee-accommodation issues. Despite the aforementioned argument, I believe that the industries and businesses resettlement brings more advantageous things in terms of urban resident health protection and the fact that attracts more employees to rural areas. Regarding the former, given that the industry emits too much-exhausted fume which brings detrimental effects on the human body, as a result, the movement of industries out of the cities facilitate better health for residents. The other beneficial effect is the employment attraction for less developmental areas, this enables these regions to arise and create equal economic growth in different sections of the country. To conclude, although people should take consideration of some negative effects, I hold the view that the relocation of industries and businesses is more necessary.
Opinions vary on whether the authority is urging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
be relocated
in suburban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
rather
than inner cities. I am of the opinion that the disadvantages
are eclipsed
by the advantages.

It is undeniable that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks
in this case
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extents. The major contribution is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money to build up infrastructure to serve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
relocation,
for example
, it is essential to construct the traffic system for delivering materials and products, which put a weighty financial burden on the poor countries. Another point is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
about human resources and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
consider distributing employees and managers to the remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, which pose a number of employee-accommodation issues.

Despite the aforementioned argument, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
resettlement brings more advantageous things in terms of urban resident health protection and the fact that attracts more employees to rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. Regarding the former,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
emits too much-exhausted fume which brings detrimental effects on the human body,
as a result
, the movement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
out of the cities facilitate better health for residents. The other beneficial effect is the employment attraction for less developmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, this enables these regions to arise and create equal economic growth in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sections of the country.

To conclude
, although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should take consideration of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects, I hold the view that the relocation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
is more necessary.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move out of the cities and into regional areas. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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