Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The government should allocate more funding to teaching sciences rather than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. To what extent do you agree? v.4

The government should allocate more funding to teaching sciences rather than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. v. 4
In today's world, there are many existing school-subjects which are essential for countries' advancement. It has been argued by some people whether governments' ought to allot more money to implement teaching sciences into schools' curriculum. The main reason to support my opinion is that scientific professions such as doctors, physicists, biologists, they all contribute to countries' progression via various devices of technology, which are created by them. Thus, if a country's government spends more resources to educate people with more essential subjects, then it might lead them to scientific discoveries due to the contribution which had been done by the government by giving what people deserve. For example, some countries are more progressed than others because their main concerns are concentrated on their improvement, and they pay less attention to others' politics. Another point to consider is that if the majority of the countries spent their resources into educating people, then they would elevate the quality of life by creating devices which could allow people to do thorough scrutiny and detect any malignant diseases in their early stages. Therefore, it would prolong people's life span and additionally, those scientists would develop different ways to harvest more crop, which would help many people, not only in their country but worldwide. For instance, one such scientific discovery can lead to the eradication of famine around the world, although in some cases this is caused artificially due to some unknown reasons. In conclusion, I firmly believe that in the case of governments' funding to teaching sciences, can advance those countries technologically, which could elevate the quality of life.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
existing school-subjects which are essential for countries' advancement. It has
been argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
' ought to allot more money to implement teaching sciences into schools' curriculum.

The main reason to support my opinion is that scientific professions such as doctors, physicists, biologists, they all contribute to countries' progression via various devices of technology, which
are created
by them.
Thus
, if a country's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spends more resources to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with more essential subjects, then it might lead them to scientific discoveries due to the contribution which had
been done
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
by giving what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
deserve.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are more progressed than others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their main concerns
are concentrated
on their improvement, and they pay less attention to others' politics.

Another point to consider is that if the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
spent their resources into educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, then they would elevate the quality of life by creating devices which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do thorough scrutiny and detect any malignant diseases in their early stages.
Therefore
, it would prolong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life span and
additionally
, those scientists would develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways to harvest more crop, which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
worldwide.
For instance
, one such scientific discovery can lead to the eradication of famine around the world, although in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases this
is caused
artificially
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unknown reasons.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe that in the case of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
' funding to teaching sciences, can advance those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
technologically
, which could elevate the quality of life.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay The government should allocate more funding to teaching sciences rather than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts