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The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

Nowadays, our life has changed from our ancestors' style, and in this modern life, we need some kind of supports, especially in mobile aspects. It is because people become more mobile and active rather than in previous decades. It might be reason of the amounts of traffic accidents in cities, while reducing this kind of regulation may reject people to commute or travel by car. However, I believe that there are more alternatives to prevent from traffic congestions which will be discussed here. To begin with, transport is an essential part of urban life and lengthy journeys and also help to move easily. Nonetheless, these factors leads too much traffic with the case of outdated road infrastructure. This means that too many vehicles use the existing network and traffic is inevitable. We see this in most large cities globally, ( for instance): London or Tokyo, many conurbations also lack finance for transport hubs, including integrated road and rail facilities which could connect public and private vehicles, thus reducing bottlenecks. Furthermore, for the cause of it, some people assume that only remedy for it to reduce the need for people to travel from home to work, education or shopping. This contributes so more problems with an already stretched system. Regarding potential options, probably robusting alternatives in the way of encouraging investment in better infrastructure to fix roadway constructions as well as increase road space for private and public vehicles. These range from enriching public transport to empower communal car-pooling than private cars which cause congestions. Another way of taking remedy for it, might be to use tax imcentives to allow more home-working, so that there is less need to commute for work. To conclude, it seems that outdated infrastructure and need for space to roads are the key factors behind cities' transport frustrations. Conversely, rather than reduce people's effort to travel by car, it would rather better to encourage people to use rail networks and public transport.
Nowadays, our life has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
from our ancestors' style, and in this modern life, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of supports,
especially
in mobile aspects. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become more mobile and active
rather
than in previous decades. It might be reason of the amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
accidents in cities, while reducing this kind of regulation may reject
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to commute or travel by car.
However
, I believe that there are more alternatives to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestions which will
be discussed
here.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
is an essential part of urban life and lengthy journeys and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
easily
. Nonetheless, these factors leads too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
with the case of outdated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
infrastructure. This means that too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
vehicles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the existing network and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
is inevitable. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
this in most large cities globally,
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
for instance
): London or Tokyo,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
conurbations
also
lack finance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
hubs, including integrated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
and rail facilities which could connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and private vehicles,
thus
reducing bottlenecks.
Furthermore
, for the cause of it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assume that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
remedy for it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to travel from home to work, education or shopping. This contributes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
more problems with an already stretched system.

Regarding potential options,
probably
Possible spelling mistake found.
robusting
alternatives in the way of encouraging investment in better infrastructure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
roadway constructions
as well
as increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
space for private and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
vehicles. These range from enriching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
to empower communal car-pooling than private cars which cause congestions. Another way of taking remedy for it, might be to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
tax
Possible spelling mistake found.
imcentives
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
more home-working,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that there is less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to commute for work.

To conclude
, it seems that outdated infrastructure and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
for space to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are the key factors behind cities'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
frustrations.
Conversely
,
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's effort to travel by car, it would
rather
better to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
rail networks and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
.
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IELTS essay The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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