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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree? v.19

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 19
Online shopping has become increasingly popular that one day it could eradicate all the local retailers and their businesses. This essay agrees that the popularity of purchasing goods online can bring detrimental effects on the local shops in towns and cities. This essay firstly discusses why online shopping is widely considered because of its accessibility and secondly explain how discounts are playing a major role in attracting people towards it. There are many reasons why online shopping is preferred by a number of people. Firstly, most of the online shopping websites are easy to access through computers and mobile applications. This is because they can be accessed on any device which is connected to the internet. Therefore, it is easily accessible to the number of websites with several varieties. Moreover, there are also several brands and varieties to choose from which also saves time for an individual to do their shopping. For example, a recent article in the Times has reported that there has been a 67% rise in online shopping after smartphones have come into existence. Another reason why people prefer online shopping is because of their huge offering of discounts. The online retailers often discount their products to attract people towards them to fight the competition in the market. As a result, most of the teenagers and financially-challenged people are attracted to these discounts and they stick to online shopping which also reduces the hassle to visit a store physically and buy products at a higher price. To illustrate this, Amazon, an e-commerce website has reported that there has been 84% higher traffic to their websites when they offered discounts during thanksgiving sale in 2018. Therefore, it is patently clear that discounts are playing a crucial role in attracting the people towards their websites ditching the local retailers. In conclusion, this essay agrees that the popularity of online shopping could bring severe damage to the local shops as they are easy to access and also for the fact that it offers several discount. It is recommended that the local shop retailers should make a deal with these internet giants for fruitful profits in the future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has become
increasingly
popular that one day it could eradicate all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
retailers and their businesses. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that the popularity of purchasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
can bring detrimental effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shops in towns and cities. This essay
firstly
discusses why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is
widely
considered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its accessibility and
secondly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discounts
are playing a major role in attracting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards it.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is preferred
by a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Firstly
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
websites are easy to access through computers and mobile applications. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
be accessed
on any device which
is connected
to the internet.
Therefore
, it is
easily
accessible to the number of websites with several varieties.
Moreover
, there are
also
several brands and varieties to choose from which
also
saves time for an individual to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
For example
, a recent article in the Times has reported that there has been a 67% rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
after smartphones have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into existence.

Another reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their huge offering of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discounts
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
retailers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discount
their products to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards them to fight the competition in the market.
As a result
, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and
financially
-challenged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are attracted
to these
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
discounts and
they stick to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
which
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the hassle to visit a store
physically
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
products at a higher price. To illustrate this, Amazon, an e-commerce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
website
has reported that there has been 84% higher traffic to their websites when they offered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discounts
during thanksgiving sale in 2018.
Therefore
, it is
patently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discounts
are playing a crucial role in attracting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards their websites ditching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
retailers.

In conclusion
, this essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
could bring severe damage to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shops as they are easy to access and
also
for the fact that it offers several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discount
. It
is recommended
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shop retailers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a deal with these internet giants for fruitful profits in the future.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 19

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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