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The government pays university tuition for students (which means students do not have to pay). Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages v.1

The government pays university tuition for students (which means students do not have to pay). Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages v. 1
In many countries, university students usually receive financial support for their tuition fees from the governments. While this trend has some benefits, I would argue that it has more drawbacks. On the one hand, the considerable investments of the government in free higher education can be beneficial in some ways. Firstly, students’ financial burden may reduce as they do not have to pay their university tuition. Therefore, they can save money to spend on other living expenses such as accommodation, foods, and transportation. If students have to take responsibility for their cost of education, they would need to find a job to earn money. This may have negative effects on their studies. Secondly, since free education may attract the enormous number of students, they find it easier to access tertiary education which provides them with necessary skills, knowledge and academic qualifications. Therefore, students can walk into a job, which contributes to reducing crime rate and poverty. On the other hand, I believe that the potential drawbacks of free education are more significant. Primarily, substantial investments from the government in free education can lead to an acute shortage of nation’s coffer to pour into other crucial factors such as transportation, environment and healthcare services. In addition, due to the provision of free higher education from the governments, students may strongly rely on these benefits. This causes their laziness and a lack of motivation to study. If students have to pay their tuition fee, they would value the education more. In conclusion, studying university free of charge can have several advantages, I am in a favor of the idea that disadvantages are greater.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
usually
receive financial support for their tuition fees from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
. While this trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits, I would argue that it has more drawbacks.

On the one hand, the considerable investments of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can be beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
financial burden may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
as they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay their university tuition.
Therefore
, they can save money to spend on other living expenses such as accommodation, foods, and transportation. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take responsibility for their cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, they would need to find a job to earn money. This may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on their studies.
Secondly
, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
may attract the enormous number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, they find it easier to access tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
which provides them with necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, knowledge and academic qualifications.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can walk into a job, which contributes to reducing crime rate and poverty.

On the other hand
, I believe that the potential drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are more significant.
Primarily
, substantial investments from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can lead to an acute shortage of nation’s coffer to pour into other crucial factors such as transportation, environment and healthcare services.
In addition
, due to the provision of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may
strongly
rely on these benefits. This causes their laziness and a lack of motivation to study. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay their tuition fee, they would value the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
more.

In conclusion
, studying university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
of charge can have several advantages, I am in a favor of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that disadvantages are greater.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay The government pays university tuition for students (which means students do not have to pay). Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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