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The government has the duty to ensure its citizen have a healthy diet while others believe it is individual s responsibility Discuss both views and give tour own opinion v.1

The government has the duty to ensure its citizen have a healthy diet while others believe it is individual s responsibility 1
It is often said that "prevention is better than cure". Out of a nation strength expenditure, an enormous ratio ought to be shifted from treatment to expense on health education and preventable steps. I firmly accord that money should be spent on health knowledge. Firstly, if the money divert in providing fitness knowledge, It would be a huge change because sometimes people do not know about health literacy, and they caught up by some disease which can be treated, but treatment costs an arm and a leg. To exemplify, in the village So many people caught up by infectious disease which can be cured by little education of well-being. Secondly, these measures can take by simply doing, such as tv commercial, advertisement, and street show. Moreover, this can also be stopped by telling the side effects of tobacco and alcoholic drinks. Furthermore, the government should encourage and aware the public of diseases can prevent by doing yoga or gym. For example an as per report of Times of India few studies shows the government initiative of stop smoking was successful hence of the advertisements and street shows. Finally, these moneys spent on hygiene knowledge and preventable measures by countries are huge and after certain time this can be profitable for that country's economy and people can be able to spend that fund on good things. To sum up, I agree that prevention is better than cure because which disease can be tackled via preventative measures and education so it ought to be the best spend on fitness information and preventable steps.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
prevention is better than cure
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. Out of a nation strength expenditure, an enormous ratio ought to
be shifted
from treatment to expense on health education and preventable steps.

I
firmly
accord that money should
be spent
on health knowledge.

Firstly
, if the money divert in providing fitness knowledge,

It would be a huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not know about health literacy, and they caught up by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
which can
be treated
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
treatment costs an arm and a leg. To exemplify, in the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
village


This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
caught up by infectious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
which can
be cured
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
education of well-being.

Secondly
, these measures can take by
simply
doing, such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
commercial, advertisement, and street
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
.
Moreover
, this can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
by telling the side effects of tobacco and alcoholic drinks.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should encourage and aware the public of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
by doing yoga or gym.
For example
an as per report of Times of India few studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
initiative of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
smoking was successful
hence
of the advertisements and street
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
.

Finally
, these moneys spent on hygiene knowledge and preventable measures by countries are huge and after certain time this can be profitable for that country's economy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can be able to spend that fund on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things.

To sum up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that prevention is better than cure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
can
be tackled
via preventative measures and education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it ought to be the best spend on fitness information and preventable steps.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The government has the duty to ensure its citizen have a healthy diet while others believe it is individual s responsibility 1

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
261 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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