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Some people think that the government has the duty to ensure its citizens have a healthy diet, while others argue it is the responsibility of each individual. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people think that the government has the duty to ensure its citizens have a healthy diet, while others argue it is the responsibility of each individual. v. 2
In recent decades the responsibility of health assurance has been attracting a great deal of public attention due to its substantial impacts on humankind’s development. Although the proposal of governments’ exclusive liability sounds reasonable, both governments and health should be responsible for maintaining a healthy diet. On the one hand, it is true that governments should have the duty to ensure a healthy diet for the citizens. The legislation of stricter food regulations should be enacted by official authorities to stop the circulation of unhealthy products in markets. This will act as a deterrent for the food producers from failing to meet the manufacturing standards as they will take the heavy punishment into considerations. In fact, Many Vietnamese individuals are susceptible to diabetes and cancers due to their consumption of food contaminated with carcinogenic coloring, which could only be tackled by stricter food scrutiny from governments. On the other hand, it is highly-recommended that citizens should be liable for their health assurance themselves. The overconsumption of processed products and convenience food would feed into the possibilities of being more sensitive to cardiovascular diseases in individuals. This means that dietary plans without red meat and abounds in organic vegetables would lead to the betterment of their physical health especially in the blood circulation and metabolism. This is because plants’ richness in fiber reduces the excessive accumulation of fat content, which exclusively harms the body’s organs. In conclusion, it is citizens’ liability to guarantee the stability of their health state due to their overconsumption of contaminated food. Additionally, governments should prohibit any practices of manufacturing any harmful food products to gratify the citizens’ demand for healthy dietary plans.
In recent decades the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
assurance has been attracting a great deal of public attention due to its substantial impacts on humankind’s development. Although the proposal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments’
exclusive liability sounds reasonable, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
should be responsible for maintaining a healthy diet.

On the one hand, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should have the duty to ensure a healthy diet for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
. The legislation of stricter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
regulations should
be enacted
by official authorities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the circulation of unhealthy products in markets. This will act as a deterrent for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
producers from failing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the manufacturing standards as they will take the heavy punishment into considerations. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Vietnamese individuals are susceptible to diabetes and cancers due to their consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
contaminated with carcinogenic coloring, which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be tackled
by stricter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
scrutiny from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.

On the other hand
, it is
highly
-recommended that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
should be liable for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
assurance themselves. The overconsumption of processed products and convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
would feed into the possibilities of being more sensitive to cardiovascular diseases in individuals. This means that dietary plans without red meat and abounds in organic vegetables would lead to the betterment of their physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
especially
in the blood circulation and metabolism. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
plants’ richness in fiber
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the excessive accumulation of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
content, which exclusively harms the body’s organs.

In conclusion
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens’
liability to guarantee the stability of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
state due to their overconsumption of contaminated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should prohibit any practices of manufacturing any harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products to gratify the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens’
demand for healthy dietary plans.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people think that the government has the duty to ensure its citizens have a healthy diet, while others argue it is the responsibility of each individual. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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