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The given pie charts detail the proportion of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed, employed or pursuing further education, in 1980, 1990, and 2000. v.1

The given pie charts detail the proportion of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed, employed or pursuing further education, in 1980, 1990, and 2000. v. 1
Recently, the process of recruiting is followed to select the best candidate to performance in an organization. It depends on the employer which important characteristics they required in an employee. No doubt, nature of person should also be focused, but educational background and expertise is also necessary to job efficiently in a particular industry. In my opinion, both components have equal importance. Every enterprise has different priorities. If an association is very famous due to his good quality of production, then they will prefer active employee to join their company. Those who have a potential to show outstanding performance, they will get the chance to be a part of that company. A well-known enterprise has proper system to select the best employees for them. For example, KM trading has HR department, they receive resumes of the candidates through email, website, or LinkedIn and then they process full information. CV of a person gives the idea about his profession, certifications and skills. The methodology to select the perfect employee who is free from any harmful act, well-mannered and hardworking get the opportunity to production. Furthermore, if employers only select peoples those who do not have enough knowledge of professional work, they cannot be able to perform any task due to lack of information and expertise. For instance, if there is lack of experience is seen in a candidate, but all other requirements are fulfilled, then an association arranges training facilities for the employees. To sum up, it is mandatory for organizations to hire those, who an eligible to task in a professional environment. An enterprise should concern both areas to get the higher achievement and to run their business smoothly.
Recently, the process of recruiting
is followed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
select
the best candidate to performance in an organization. It depends on the employer which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
characteristics they required in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
. No doubt, nature of person should
also
be focused
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
educational background and expertise is
also
necessary to job
efficiently
in a particular industry. In my opinion, both components have equal importance.

Every enterprise has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
priorities. If an association is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
due to his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality of production, then they will prefer active
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have a potential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
outstanding performance, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the chance to be a part of that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. A well-known enterprise has proper system to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
select
the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
for them.

For example
, KM trading has HR department, they receive resumes of the candidates through email, website, or
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
LinkedIn and
then they process full information. CV of a person gives the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about his profession, certifications and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. The methodology to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
select
the perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is free from any harmful act, well-mannered and hardworking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the opportunity to production.

Furthermore
, if employers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
select
peoples those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
knowledge of professional work, they cannot be able to perform any task due to lack of information and expertise.
For instance
, if there is lack of experience is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in a candidate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
all other requirements
are fulfilled
, then an association arranges training facilities for the employees.

To sum up, it is mandatory for organizations to hire those,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
an eligible to task in a professional environment. An enterprise should concern both areas to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the higher achievement and to run their business
smoothly
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The given pie charts detail the proportion of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed, employed or pursuing further education, in 1980, 1990, and 2000. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
279 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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