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The gap between the rich and the poor people is increasingly widespread, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause? What are the solutions to address the problem. v.2

The gap between the rich and the poor people is increasingly widespread, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause? What are the solutions to address the problem. v. 2
It is undisputed that, the disparity between the wealthy person and the poor has enormously raised nowadays. Presently, people opine that it has a lot of negative impacts on the society as a whole. Here, this essay intends to discuss about the possible negative outcomes that will arise on the society and recommend some solution methods to tackle this issue. This phenomena creates adverse impacts on people and on the nation too. First and the foremost, many crimes like robbery, prostitution, stealing and soon will be on top of the table. To demonstrate, poor people would be deprived from proper food, education, house et. cetera. which probably propel them to act such a illegal crimes to meet their needs. Besides that, this issue directly affect on the economic condition of the nation and the graph of economic will follow the downward trend. The main reason of this situation is that impoverished people who occupy a proportion of the population do not have money to buy companies' products. So, the inequality between the rich and the poor has make the condition of people and nation more worse. What is needed to combat this problem is to make a definite rule. To be specific, government should reduce the tax rate that has to be paid by disadvantages. What is more, government should make the provision to provide free quality education to the children from the poor background family. Due to which, children become able to do some high paid job which certainly rise the economic condition and life style of a poor family. To recapitulate, undeniably, the difference between the prosperous poor and the poor people is desperately is rising day by day. But, it could be solve, if the government make a certain rule regarding tax payment by poor people and should provide free facilities that are needed in their daily life.
It
is undisputed
that, the disparity between the wealthy person and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
has
enormously
raised nowadays.
Presently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on the society as a whole. Here, this essay intends to
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes that will arise on the society and recommend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solution methods to tackle this issue.

Did you mean "these"?
This
phenomena
You should probably use "create".
creates
adverse impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and on the nation too.
First
and the foremost,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
crimes like robbery, prostitution, stealing and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
will be on top of the table. To demonstrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be
The usual collocation for "deprived" is "of" not "". Did you mean "deprived of"?
deprived from
proper food, education,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
Possible spelling mistake found.
et
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
cetera
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
probably
propel them to act such
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
illegal
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "crime"?
crimes
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their needs.
Besides
that, this issue
directly
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on the economic condition of the nation and the graph of economic will follow the downward trend. The main reason of this situation is that impoverished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who occupy a proportion of the population do not have money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
Possible spelling mistake found.
companies&
#039; products.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the inequality between the rich and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the condition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and nation
Use only "worse" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more worse
.

What
is needed
to combat this problem is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
. To be specific,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the tax rate that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be paid
by disadvantages.
What is more
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the provision to provide free quality education to the children from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
background family. Due to which, children become able to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
high paid job which
certainly
rise the economic condition and life style of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
family.

To recapitulate,
undeniably
, the difference between the prosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
desperately
is rising day by day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, it could be
Consider using the past participle "solved"?
solve
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
regarding tax payment by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and should provide free facilities that
are needed
in their daily life.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes
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Persian Proverb

IELTS essay The gap between the rich and the poor people is increasingly widespread, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause? What are the solutions to address the problem. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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