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The gap between the rich and the poor is increasingly wide, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause? What are the solutions to address those problems? v.2

The gap between the rich and the poor is increasingly wide, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause? What are the solutions to address those problems? v. 2
The gap between the wealthy to the underprivileged is indeed expanding all around the world. There are several reasons which explain this issue and some measures should be taken to tackle these causes. There are two fundamental reasons why the disparity is widening. The first reason is that the lack of works in the lower and middle classes poses a great financial threat to them. Because the requirements and criteria for both national and multinational corporations are too high, people are not likely to have many chances to work for them. Consequently, many people become unemployed and unable to earn a living. The second reason is that the infrastructure is not enough convenient for people to approach. For instance, residents in rural areas have to live without electricity, clean water. Thus, these people who are not well-educated are likely to become destitute. In response, some measures should be taken to mitigate the problem of the unbridgeable gap between the two classes. One step is that businesses should create many positions for their recruitment. If people easily have a job after their graduation, unemployment rates will shrink. Therefore, the disparity can be reduced thanks to the fact that the lower class can earn more money. Another essential measure is that Governments should improve the infrastructure in their countries. If the authorities know how to narrow the disparity, their countries will develop successfully. For example, Singapore, which was a poor fishing village in the nineteenth century, is the centre of economy in the world after 50 years. In conclusion, the disparity between the wealthy and the destitute is a huge problem for the modern life of human being and solutions should be implemented to tackle this issue.
The gap between the wealthy to the underprivileged is
indeed
expanding all around the world. There are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this issue and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures should
be taken
to tackle these causes.

There are two fundamental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disparity
is widening. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that the lack of works in the lower and middle classes poses a great financial threat to them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the requirements and criteria for both national and multinational corporations are too high,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not likely to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
chances to work for them.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become unemployed and unable to earn a living. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that the infrastructure is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
convenient for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to approach.
For instance
, residents in rural areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without electricity, clean water.
Thus
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are not well-educated are likely to become destitute.

In response,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures should
be taken
to mitigate the problem of the unbridgeable gap between the two classes. One step is that businesses should create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
positions for their recruitment. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
easily
have a job after their graduation, unemployment rates will shrink.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disparity
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
thanks to the fact that the lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
can earn more money. Another essential measure is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the infrastructure in their countries. If the authorities know how to narrow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disparity
, their countries will develop
successfully
.
For example
, Singapore, which was a poor fishing village in the nineteenth century, is the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of economy in the world after 50 years.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disparity
between the wealthy and the destitute is a huge problem for the modern life of human being and solutions should
be implemented
to tackle this issue.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The gap between the rich and the poor is increasingly wide, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause? What are the solutions to address those problems? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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