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The gap between the rich and the poor is increasingly wide, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause? What are the solutions to address those problems? v.3

The gap between the rich and the poor is increasingly wide, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause? What are the solutions to address those problems? v. 3
In this contemporary era, Remuneration plays a vital role in individual's prospects, while selecting an organization to work with. However, few people argue, working environment is considered to be the most important aspect to opt for a job. I completely agree with the latter notion, and this essay will elucidate both views and provide an opinion. In the first place, peaceful environment at work place is one of the key factors to be considered while choosing a job. With the technological advancements where corporate organizations pushing their boundaries to perform beyond expectations, it is important to provide a healthy environment to the employees for high productivity. An organization with a work life balance and the boss being a leader who treats their subordinates along with him as a team is considered to be chosen. For example, as per the market trends, companies which are offering a flexible work hours and work from home concepts are performing leaps and bounds. On the other side, salary is also one of the key aspect while opting for an offer. To lead a prosperous social life with the whooping expenses like a child's education, house rents, day to day living expenses, it is important that, one needs to choose a job that is offering the best compensation in the market. For Example, employees are applying for multiple jobs in parallel and trying to close the deal that is paying high without any variable pay structures included. Moreover, sometimes they are arguing to get higher pay by showing other company job offer letters. To summarise, high compensation is important and one of the key factors to choose a job, but not at the cost of loosing peace. I thus, strongly recommend to choose a job which gives a self satisfaction with stress being the low side with a fair compensation.
In this contemporary era, Remuneration plays a vital role in individual's prospects, while selecting an organization to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with.
However
, few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue, working environment
is considered
to be the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
aspect to opt for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter notion, and this essay will elucidate both views and provide an opinion.

In the
first
place, peaceful environment at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place is one of the key factors to
be considered
while choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. With the technological advancements where corporate organizations pushing their boundaries to perform beyond expectations, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to provide a healthy environment to the employees for high productivity. An organization with a
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
work life
balance and the boss being a leader who treats their subordinates along with him as a team
is considered
to
be chosen
.
For example
, as per the market trends,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
which are offering a flexible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
hours and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home concepts are performing leaps and bounds.

On the other side, salary is
also
one of the key aspect while opting for an offer. To lead a prosperous social life with the whooping expenses like a child's education,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
rents, day to day living expenses, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
that, one needs to choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that is
offering the best compensation in the market.
For Example
, employees are applying for multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in parallel and trying to close the deal
that is
paying high without any variable pay structures included.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they are arguing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher pay by showing other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
offer letters.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, high compensation is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
and one of the key factors to choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not at the cost of loosing peace. I
thus
,
strongly
The verb 'recommend' is used with the gerund form: "recommend choosing".
recommend to choose
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which gives a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self satisfaction
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
being the low side with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
compensation.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The gap between the rich and the poor is increasingly wide, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause? What are the solutions to address those problems? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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