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The gap between the rich and the poor becomes wider. What is the causes of this? What can be done to solve this? v.2

The gap between the rich and the poor becomes wider. What is the causes of this? What can be done to solve this? v. 2
There is no doubt that the distance between the rich and the poor has increasingly becomes broaden. While this is becoming a serious social issue, it is definitely not impossible to lessen the gap. This essay will evaluate the unequal distribution of wealth as the main cause and suggest a viable solution to the problem. The primary reason for the widening of the gap between the rich and the poor is the uneven distribution of resources. This happens because most rich people controlled the profitable corporations making them richer while the majority of the poor workers received less proportion of corporate income in the form of salaries. For instance, in a recent research at the University of Queensland, it claimed that only 10% of the population belongs to the affluent group while approximately 70% were included in the marginalized group in the society. This is clearly evident that unequal distribution of income justified the gap between the rich and the poor. The best way to confront the gap in the society level is to improve the education system. This can be done by allocating more funds in building a school infrastructure and improving the teaching skills in the educational institutions. For example, in the economic survey conducted by the UK government, it found that most residents expressed their interest for a free university education. In contrast, if the government will not make the university education free to anyone, only the wealthy students can afford the high cost of university courses and therefore the gap will continue to expand. In conclusion, although there is an extensive gap between the wealthy and poor people, this problem is not insurmountable. The government should address this issue by implementing intensive programs to improve the education system.
There is no doubt that the distance between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
has
increasingly
becomes broaden. While this is becoming a serious social issue, it is definitely not impossible to lessen the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
. This essay will evaluate the unequal distribution of wealth as the main cause and suggest a viable solution to the problem.

The primary reason for the widening of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
is the uneven distribution of resources. This happens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
controlled the profitable corporations making them richer while the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
workers received less proportion of corporate income in the form of salaries.
For instance
, in a recent research at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of Queensland, it claimed that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10% of the population belongs to the affluent group while approximately 70%
were included
in the marginalized group in the society. This is
clearly
evident that unequal distribution of income justified the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and the poor.

The best way to confront the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
in the society level is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system. This can
be done
by allocating more funds in building a school infrastructure and improving the teaching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in the educational institutions.
For example
, in the economic survey conducted by the UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, it found that most residents expressed their interest for a free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
In contrast
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
free to anyone,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the wealthy students can afford the high cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
courses and
therefore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
will continue to expand.

In conclusion
, although there is an extensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between the wealthy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, this problem is not insurmountable. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should address this issue by implementing intensive programs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay The gap between the rich and the poor becomes wider. What is the causes of this? What can be done to solve this? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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