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Some people say that the most important thing for being rich is people have opportunity for helping other person? Do you agree or disagree? v.4

Some people say that the most important thing for being rich is people have opportunity for helping other person? v. 4
It is indubitable that money is very important for helping others. However, I disagree with the It is indubitable that money is very important for helping others. However, I disagree with the given statement that it is the most essential thing in terms of a chance to help the needy. I believe that there are numerous ways of helping the underprivileged, and monetary aid is certainly not the best forms of aid. My first argument to support my viewpoint is that giving money to the poor would be a very shortsighted approach. It would satiate their needs for some time, but ultimately they have to be made capable of standing on their own. Providing education and job training is better way of helping them. For example, my friend’s mother, teaches children of the slum area every evening. She is herself not very rich, but she is helping in better ways than money can do. Secondly, it is not always the financial help, which is needed by people. A timely helping hand when a person is suffering is better than helping with money. For instance, in natural calamities, such as earthquakes and floods, the immediate need of people is food and medical care. Many college students volunteered to carry food and medicines to the needy, when there was a flood in some areas of Punjab, a few years ago. Fresh medical graduates also went and stayed there and helped people with immediate medical care. In times of crises, such help outstrips any help that money can provide. Opponents would argue that only the rich are in a position to help the poor, as people need money for even the basic necessities of life such as food, clothing and shelter. Even providing education and job training to the destitute, needs money. They have a point, but I still believe that the help in terms of personal effort provided by those who are, themselves, not so affluent is equally good. To sum up, if one is rich, he is in a better situation to help others who need money and all the things which money can provide. However, I reiterate my view by saying that to help others, one need not be rich as help can beprovided in many better ways than with money.
It is indubitable that
money
is
very
important
for helping others.
However
, I

disagree with
the It
is indubitable that
money
is
very
important
for helping

others
.
However
, I disagree with the
given
statement that it is the most

essential
thing in terms of a chance to
help
the needy. I believe that there
are


numerous
ways
of helping the underprivileged, and monetary aid is
certainly


not
the best forms of aid.

My
first
argument to support my viewpoint is that giving
money
to the poor

would
be a
very
shortsighted approach. It would satiate their
needs
for
some


time
,
but
ultimately
they
have to
be made
capable of standing on their
own
.

Providing education and job training is
better
way
of helping them. For

example
, my friend’s mother, teaches children of the slum area every evening.

She is herself not
very
rich
,
but
she is helping in
better
ways
than
money
can

do
.

Secondly
, it is not always the financial
help
, which
is needed
by
people
. A

timely
helping hand when a person is suffering is
better
than helping with
money
.
For instance
, in natural calamities, such as earthquakes and floods,
the


immediate
need
of
people
is food and medical care.
Many
college
students


volunteered to carry food and medicines to the needy, when there was a flood

in
some
areas of Punjab, a few years ago. Fresh medical graduates
also
went


and
stayed there and
helped
people
with immediate medical care. In times
of


crises
, such
help
outstrips any
help
that
money
can provide.

Opponents would argue that
only
the
rich
are in a position to
help
the poor, as

people
need
money
for even the
basic necessities
of life such as food, clothing

and
shelter. Even providing education and job training to the destitute,
needs


money
. They have a point,
but
I
still
believe that the
help
in terms of
personal


effort
provided by those who are, themselves, not
so
affluent is
equally
good
.

To sum up, if one is
rich
, he is in a
better
situation to
help
others who need

money
and all the things which
money
can provide.
However
, I reiterate my

view
by saying that to
help
others, one
need
not be
rich
as
help
can
beprovided
in
many
better
ways
than with
money
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the most important thing for being rich is people have opportunity for helping other person? v. 4

Essay
  American English
28 paragraphs
381 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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