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Some people say economic development is necessary to reduce the poverty in the world. Others say that economic growth should be stop immediately to stop damaging the environment. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.2

Some people say economic development is necessary to reduce the poverty in the world. Others say that economic growth should be stop immediately to stop damaging the environment. v. 2
Economic growth has been a major priority in many parts of the world because some people believe that economic growth is the most effective way to address starvation and poverty while others claim that it would have negative impacts on the environment and should not be continued. On the one hand, solid economic progress is crucial for tackling hunger and poverty. First, a highly developed economy means have considerable investment in agricultural sector. Successful businesses would join hands with government to support modernization and innovation of farming method and techniques. This would help enhance productivity and food security would be assured as a result. Meanwhile, economic prosperity also contribute to significantly reducing the unemployment rate. In other words, the total national outcomes increase, the enterprises would need to expand their operation, thus, creating more job opportunities and decreasing the poverty rate. On the other hand, defining sustainable economy arise from a nation’s friendly- environmental economic progress. Industrialization coupled with economic development has resulted in ever-increasing environmental pollution. Factories pollute the air by releasing gas emissions to the atmosphere on a daily basis, sewage is being discharged into the rivers without adequate pre-treatment. Is businesses show concern in environmental friendly technology, and make optimal use of resources in order to minimize environmentally detrimental effects. In conclusion, the above analysis point out the fact that economic development should be put on top priority in fighting poverty and food shortage and environmental drawbacks can possible be overcome.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Economic
growth has been a major priority in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth is the most effective way to address starvation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
while others claim that it would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on the environment and should not
be continued
.

On the one hand, solid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
progress is crucial for tackling hunger and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
.
First
, a
highly
developed economy means have considerable investment in agricultural sector. Successful businesses would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
hands with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to support modernization and innovation of farming method and techniques. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
enhance productivity and food security would
be assured
as a result
. Meanwhile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
prosperity
also
contribute to
significantly
reducing the unemployment rate.
In other words
, the total national outcomes increase, the enterprises would need to expand their operation,
thus
, creating more job opportunities and decreasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
rate.

On the other hand
, defining sustainable economy arise from a nation’s friendly-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
progress. Industrialization coupled with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
development has resulted in ever-increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
pollution. Factories pollute the air by releasing gas emissions to the atmosphere on a daily basis, sewage is
being discharged
into the rivers without adequate pre-treatment. Is businesses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
concern in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
friendly technology, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
optimal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of resources in order to minimize
environmentally
detrimental effects.

In conclusion
, the above analysis point out the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
development should
be put
on top priority in fighting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and food shortage and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
drawbacks can possible
be overcome
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say economic development is necessary to reduce the poverty in the world. Others say that economic growth should be stop immediately to stop damaging the environment. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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