Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The gap between education in richer countries and education in poorer countries is a growing concern. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation? v.1

The gap between education in richer countries and education in poorer countries is a growing concern. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation? v. 1
Education is a fundamental to the progress of a nation, a community or an individual. It has been observed that there is a huge difference in its quality between the rich and poor countries and this gap is increasing in the past few decades. There are some solutions to this for which the administration of both the developing and developed countries must join hands. One of the major problems for this gap is that the rich countries spend on the education and research, but the poor countries do not have enough resources to do so. Therefore, the curriculum in advanced nations is far more up to date when compared with the others. For example, a new research at Howard University for robots, is taught in the USA, but not in Indian universities. As a solution to this, the government of under-developed country itself must take efforts to improve the schooling facilities in the country. Firstly, it should make the education free, so that it is accessible to everyone and not just rich. As it reaches the poor, the talent from weaker sections, becomes stronger and as a result, the nation progresses. Secondly, the ministry must bring educational reforms to provide knowledge that is up to date and to improve the mental health of students. For instance, a recent reform to assess students all the year instead of conducting exams is proving to be beneficial. To conclude, I suggest that the administration of both the worlds, should come together to reduce the gap in the quality of education. Steps such as free access to knowledge can really help. Every nation must unite on the lines of humanity and help each other progress.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is a fundamental to the progress of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
, a community or an individual. It has
been observed
that there is a huge difference in its quality between the rich and poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and this gap is increasing in the past few decades. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to this for which the administration of both the developing and developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
hands.

One of the major problems for this gap is that the rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
spend on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and research,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
resources to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
Therefore
, the curriculum in advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
is far more up to date when compared with the others.
For example
, a new research at Howard University for robots,
is taught
in the USA,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not in Indian universities.

As a solution to this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of under-developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
itself
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take efforts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the schooling facilities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Firstly
, it should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
free,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it is accessible to everyone and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
rich. As it reaches the poor, the talent from weaker sections, becomes stronger and
as a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
progresses.
Secondly
, the ministry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
bring educational reforms to provide knowledge
that is
up to date and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the mental health of students.
For instance
, a recent reform to assess students all the year
instead
of conducting exams is proving to be beneficial.

To conclude
, I suggest that the administration of both the worlds, should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the gap in the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Steps such as free access to knowledge can
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
unite on the lines of humanity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other progress.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay The gap between education in richer countries and education in poorer countries is a growing concern. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts