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The following graph shows the number of people by age attending the cinema more than once a month Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below Write at least 150 words v.1

The following graph shows the number of people by age attending the cinema more than once a month Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below v. 1
There is a school of thought that seeking job satisfaction is more essential than feeling secured when working, while it is also argued that prioritising a stable occupation will be crucial in maintaining one’s career. In this essay, both the views will be critiqued before reaching a reasoned conclusion. On the one hand, job satisfaction plays a more important role due to its permanent working environment. In the modern days, people easily get stressed by deadlines and extra shifts, which is not surprising to comprehend that the unemployment rate has risen significantly. To put it simply, employees give up their current job because they cannot feel comfortably treated, thus keeping hunting for the comfort in their occupation. Moreover, in order to balance between personal life and career, as well as reaching happiness, a free-stress job would be the optimum for those workers. Conversely, working consistently in one position is considered to be more vital, since it will provide not only a stable income for the employees, but also a permanent working environment. To be more precise, job security might guarantee the stability of the workers’ job position as well as preventing from being unemployed. Furthermore, being satisfactory when working can be a hurdle in getting promoted. An illustration for this is when the staffs decide not to do much of their tasks so as to have more time for relaxation, they will firmly stay in the low job position of the company. In conclusion, despite the idea that people should choose job satisfaction rather than preserve their occupation by being stable in only one organization. To my mind, it depends on each person’s circumstance to decide which advice will do them good, as long as they find it convenient.
There is a school of
thought
that seeking
job
satisfaction is more essential than feeling secured when
working
, while it is
also
argued that
prioritising
a stable occupation will be crucial in maintaining one’s career. In this essay, both the views will
be critiqued
before
reaching a reasoned conclusion.

On the one hand,
job
satisfaction plays a more
important
role due to its permanent
working
environment. In the modern days,
people
easily
get
stressed
by deadlines and extra shifts, which is not surprising to comprehend that the unemployment rate has risen
significantly
. To put it
simply
, employees give up their
current
job
because
they cannot feel
comfortably
treated,
thus
keeping hunting for the comfort in their occupation.
Moreover
, in order to balance between personal life and career,
as well
as reaching happiness, a free-
stress
job
would be the optimum for those workers.

Conversely
,
working
consistently
in one position
is considered
to be more vital, since it will provide not
only
a stable income for the employees,
but
also
a permanent
working
environment. To be more precise,
job
security might guarantee the stability of the workers’
job
position
as well
as preventing from
being unemployed
.
Furthermore
, being satisfactory when
working
can be a hurdle in getting promoted. An illustration for this is when the staffs decide not to do much of their tasks
so as to
have more time for relaxation, they will
firmly
stay in the low
job
position of the
company
.

In conclusion
, despite the
idea
that
people
should choose
job
satisfaction
rather
than preserve their occupation by being stable in
only
one organization. To my mind, it depends on each person’s circumstance to decide which advice will do them
good
, as long as they find it convenient.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The following graph shows the number of people by age attending the cinema more than once a month Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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