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The charts below gives information about number of road accidents in Someland between 1983 1995 Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below Write at least 150 words v.1

The charts below gives information about number of road accidents in Someland between 1983 1995 Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below v. 1
Ever since the start of globalization, there has been a significant rise in big shopping malls in the country. This has resulted in more people buying from large shopping centres instead of small shops. In my opinion, this is a positive development which can lead to more benefits for the customers. One benefit that the customers get due this development is competitive pricing. It is often seen that the large outlets have huge funds which they can utilise to buy product in bulk quantity. Due to economies of scale that these mega malls enjoy, they tend to get the products cheaper and subsequently the benefit is passed on to customers in the form of discounts. For instance, every year monsoon sale is organised in most of the malls in Mumbai in which all the shops offer their products at almost 50% to 70% discount. The other advantage of the growth of shopping centres is that it serves as a one stop destination for all the shopping needs. These shopping centres offer a plethora of products of different brands which gives consumers a wide range of options to choose from. Nowadays, almost all the shopping centres have theatres, food courts, cafes, and children play area, hence people of all age groups can enjoy spending time in malls. One of the malls in Mumbai has a snow park, which attracts huge crowd every day. Although, this may cause small shops to close down their business, it is overall good for strengthening country's economy. To sum up, considering all the aspects, I believe that the emergence of large shopping centres has a positive effect on the society.
Ever since the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of globalization, there has been a significant rise in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
in the country. This has resulted in more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
buying from large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
instead
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
shops. In my opinion, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development which can lead to more benefits for the customers.

One benefit that the customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
due this development is competitive pricing. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the large outlets have huge funds which they can
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in bulk quantity. Due to economies of scale that these mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
enjoy, they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
cheaper and
subsequently
the benefit
is passed
on to customers in the form of discounts.
For instance
, every year monsoon sale is
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
in most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
in Mumbai in which all the shops offer their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
at almost 50% to 70% discount.

The other advantage of the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
is that it serves as a one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
destination for all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
needs. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
offer a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
brands which gives consumers a wide range of options to choose from. Nowadays, almost all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
have
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
, food courts,
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
, and children play area,
hence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of all age groups can enjoy spending time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
. One of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
in Mumbai has a snow park, which attracts huge crowd every day.

Although, this may cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
shops to close down their business, it is
overall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for strengthening country's economy. To sum up, considering all the aspects, I believe that the emergence of large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on the society.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The charts below gives information about number of road accidents in Someland between 1983 1995 Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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