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The diagram below shows the process for making a water clock. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below. Write at least 150 words. v.1

The diagram below shows the process for making a water clock. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below. v. 1
Nowadays, healthy lifestyle is encouraged by eating vegetables while avoiding any form of animal products. In my opinion, I totally agree that to live a life free of sicknesses and diseases everybody should be a vegetarian. Firstly, people suffers from a lot of ailments as a result of what they consume and apparently most eat animal products such as different kinds of meat like chicken, beef, pork, eggs to mention a few. Although, these are good sources of proteins for us, in that they help to build our body systems. However, they contain a lot of fats that are not healthy for humans. Thereby causing a lot of illness in bodies at a later age in future. But vegetarians on the hands regularly feed themselves with plant's food that are healthy enough to sustain and prevent them from any form of disease, thereby causing them to live longer than those who eat meat. For example, a survey was conducted to find out the number of people dying of heart diseases and it was recorded that 70% of people who eat meat die yearly unlike people who eat vegetables as this one regularly look vitalized and healthy all through their lives. Another point to consider is that the way these animals are raised are not good for human consumption which consequently affect the human system. Some of these methods of breeding animals with steroids and all other fatty supplements could humans adversely if their consumption is too high. Furthermore, these animals have lived and should not be killed as they can be kept as pets rather than killing them for our own selfish reason. Admittedly, being a vegetarian makes life more beautiful as all entities on earth can live without fear of being killed. In conclusion, I totally agree that everybody should be a vegetarian as this type of lifestyle encourages healthy living devoid of diseases of any kind.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle
is encouraged
by eating vegetables while avoiding any form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
products. In my opinion, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a life free of sicknesses and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
everybody should be a vegetarian.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
suffers
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
ailments
as a result
of what they consume and
apparently
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
products such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of meat like chicken, beef, pork, eggs to mention a few. Although, these are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sources of proteins for us, in that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to build our body systems.
However
, they contain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
fats that are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. Thereby causing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
illness in bodies at a later age
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
vegetarians on the hands
regularly
feed themselves with plant's food that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to sustain and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from any form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
, thereby causing them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer than those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
meat.
For example
, a survey
was conducted
to find out the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dying of heart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
and it
was recorded
that 70% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
meat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
yearly unlike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
vegetables as this one
regularly
look vitalized and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
all through their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Another point to consider is that the way these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are raised
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
consumption which
consequently
affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
system.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of these methods of breeding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
with steroids and all other fatty supplements could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
adversely
if their consumption is too high.
Furthermore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
and should not
be killed
as they can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
as pets
rather
than killing them for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
selfish reason.
Admittedly
, being a vegetarian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
life more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
as all entities on earth can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without fear of
being killed
.

In conclusion
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that everybody should be a vegetarian as this type of lifestyle encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
living devoid of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
of any kind.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay The diagram below shows the process for making a water clock. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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