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The first car appearedon British roads in 1888. By theyear 2000 there may as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disgree? v.1

The first car appearedon British roads in 1888. By theyear 2000 there may as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. v. 1
It is widely contended that, there is drastically increase of vehicles in English roads by the end of the 20th century, comparatively to the 19th century there are about 29 million more in 2000. However, there is a strong counterargument amongst some sections of the people that public transit should be implemented to tackle this issue and some strict laws should introduce on car users. I personally subscribe to the view that the permanent solution for wagon systems should be motivated The principal most reason why I firmly opine that to nominate a few laws to vehicle owners is the sheer number of cases that it stand indisputable testimony to this. For instance, a rule like one transit vehicle for one family should take into public, so that we can decline the usage rate of road wagon. In addition, I defend the statement of using personal vehicles because the pollution rate is sprouting up day-by-day we need to take some precautions to stop this scourge. In the same vein, another case of example for my favouring this view is that, when I am pursuing my graduation first year I used to travel on public transit. Although, it is hard to travel, but I preferred it later on when I entered into the final year I used to go on a bike, after a successful two month journey on my wagon I figured it out that I spend about the 50percentage more money for my bike allowances comparing to public transport. So I can state from my experience that we can control our earnings by using public transport. Therefore, persuaded by all the discussions till now as well as given my personal experience, I would like to reiterate that, I strongly hold to the view of boosting up the transport system and for the extension of rules on vehicle.
It is
widely
contended that, there is
drastically
increase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
in English roads by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the 20th century,
comparatively
to the 19th century there are about 29 million more in 2000.
However
, there is a strong counterargument amongst
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sections of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transit should
be implemented
to tackle this issue and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strict laws should introduce on car users. I
personally
subscribe to the view that the permanent solution for wagon systems should be
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
motivated


The principal most reason why I
firmly
opine that to nominate a few laws to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
owners is the sheer number of cases that it stand indisputable testimony to this.
For instance
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
like one transit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
for one family should take into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we can decline the usage rate of road wagon.
In addition
, I defend the statement of using personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the pollution rate is sprouting up day-by-day we need to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
precautions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
this scourge.

In the same vein, another case of example for my
Possible spelling mistake. 'favouring' is British English.
favouring
this view is that, when I am pursuing my graduation
first
year I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to travel on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transit. Although, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to travel,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I preferred it later on when I entered into the final year I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to go on a bike, after a successful
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "two-month"
two month
Possible agreement error. The noun 'journey' seems to be countable, so consider using: "journeys".
journey
on my wagon I figured it out that I spend about the 50percentage more money for my bike allowances comparing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I can state from my experience that we can control our earnings by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport.

Therefore
, persuaded by all the discussions till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
my personal experience, I would like to reiterate that, I
strongly
hold to the view of boosting up the transport system and for the extension of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay The first car appearedon British roads in 1888. By theyear 2000 there may as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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