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. The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000, there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on the British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. v.1

. The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000, there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on the British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. v. 1
IN THE PRESENT SCENERIO, MORE CARS ARE BEING MANUFACTURED THAN PREVIOUS TIME WHCIH IS CONTRIBUTING MORE TO THE ENVIRONMENTAL PROBLEMS. THUS SOME OTHER WAY OF TRAVELING SHOULD BE INSPIRED AND ALSO FOREIGN ACTS SHOULD BE PRESENTED TO RESTRAIN THE CARE BUYING AND USAGE. I TOTALLY AGREE WITH THE ABOVE NOTION AS IT IS HELPFUL FOR THE BOTH ENVIRONMENT AND HUMAN. THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSSED WHY AND WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OF OTHER FORM OF COMMUTING AND CONTROL CAR OWNERSHIP AND IT'S USE. TO START WITH WHY I CONCURE THIS NEW IDEA? FIRSTLY, MORE VEHICLES ON THE ROAD ARE CAUSING ENVIRONMENTAL POLLITIONS LIKE AIR AND NOISE. TO ILLUSTARTE THIS, RUNNING CAR BURNS A FOSSILE FUELS AND THE EXAUST COMES FROM THAT IS HAZARDOUS TO THE ENVIRONMNT. FOR AN EXAMPLE FUMES COME FROM THE CAR ARE CONTAINED DULFER DIOXIDE AND CARBON DIOXIDE WHICH ARE DAMAGING THE OZONE LAYER. AS ARESULT ENHANCING THE GLOBAL WARMING EFFECTS. SECONDLY, GOVERNMENT IS FACING ECONOMY PROBLEM WITH LESSER USAGE OF THE PUBLIC TRANSPORT. TO ELABORATE IF NOWADAYS ALL MOST EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN CAR. BECAUSE OF THIS VERY FEW PEOPLE ARE USING COMMON TRANSPORT FOR COMMUTING. FOR AN EXAMPLE, ONE OF MY FRIEND HAS CAR AND FUEL PRICE ARE ALSO HIGH STILL SHE PREFER TO USE HER CAR FOR GOING SOMWHERE RATHER THAN UNSING GOVERNMENT BUSES. SO WHEN LESS PUBLIC USES THE GOVERNMENT BUS, LESSER THE REVENUEAND ALSO WASTING OF FOSSILE FUEL. IN THE CONTRAST, IF THERE BENEFITS OF USING OTHER FORMS OF COMMUTING SYSTEMS LIKE CAR POOLING, RIDE SHARE, OR INTRODUCING ENVIRONMENTAL FRIENDLY FLUEL WHICH MINIMIZE THE POLLUTION TO SOME EXTENT OR AT 0 LEVEL. THE PRIME BENEFIT IS THAT PEOPLE CAN SAVE THE PLANATE BYE USING ALTERNATE WAYS. TO EXPLAIN IT, IF INDIVIDUAL USE A CAR POOL OR RIDE SHARE THEY DON NOT HAVE TO PAY ALL THE EXPENCES LIKE FUEL PRICE AND ALSO ONE CAR WILL BE USED FOR UP 5 PEOPLE INSTEAD OF 5 SEPERATE CARS. THUS THERE WILL BE LESS DANGEROUS GAES IN THE AIR AND DECREASES THE POLLUTION, WHICH LEAD TO LESS ENVIRONMENTAL DAMAGE. NUMBER OF PEOPLE INCREASEING DAY BY DAY IN CAR BUYING LIST THIS IS DUE TO CHEAP CAR PRICES AND FUELS. ONE SOLUTION FOR THE INCREASED CAR OWNERSHIP IS GOVERNMENT SHOULD INCRESES THE CAR COST AND ESTRICT THE NUMBER OF REGISTRATION PER PERSON OR PER FAMILY. I AM SURE THIS WILL DEFINATLY HEPL PEOPLE TO USE ANOTHER WAY OF TRVELING. TO SUM UP, BY PRESENTING OVERSEAS CONSTITUTIONS WILL RESTRICT THE CAR OWNERSHIP AND ALSO HELPFULL TO THE ENVIRONMET
IN THE PRESENT
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SCENERIO
, MORE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CARS
ARE
BEING MANUFACTURED
THAN PREVIOUS TIME
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WHCIH
IS CONTRIBUTING MORE TO THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ENVIRONMENTAL
PROBLEMS.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
THUS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
OTHER WAY OF TRAVELING SHOULD
BE INSPIRED
AND
ALSO
FOREIGN ACTS SHOULD
BE PRESENTED
TO RESTRAIN THE CARE BUYING AND USAGE. I
TOTALLY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
AGREE
WITH THE ABOVE NOTION AS IT IS HELPFUL FOR THE BOTH ENVIRONMENT AND HUMAN. THIS ESSAY WILL
The verb 'WILL' requires the base form of the verb: "discuss"
DISCUSSED
WHY AND WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OF OTHER FORM OF COMMUTING AND CONTROL
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CAR
OWNERSHIP AND IT'S
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USE
.

TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
START
WITH WHY I
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CONCURE
THIS NEW
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
IDEA
?
FIRSTLY
, MORE VEHICLES ON THE ROAD ARE CAUSING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ENVIRONMENTAL
Possible spelling mistake found.
POLLITIONS
LIKE AIR AND NOISE. TO
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ILLUSTARTE
THIS, RUNNING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CAR
BURNS A
Possible spelling mistake found.
FOSSILE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FUELS
AND THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
EXAUST
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
COMES
FROM
THAT IS
HAZARDOUS TO THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
ENVIRONMNT
. FOR AN EXAMPLE FUMES
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
COME
FROM THE
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CAR
ARE CONTAINED
Possible spelling mistake found.
DULFER
DIOXIDE AND CARBON DIOXIDE WHICH ARE DAMAGING THE OZONE LAYER. AS
Possible spelling mistake found.
ARESULT
ENHANCING THE GLOBAL WARMING EFFECTS.
SECONDLY
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GOVERNMENT
IS FACING ECONOMY PROBLEM WITH LESSER USAGE OF THE PUBLIC TRANSPORT. TO ELABORATE IF NOWADAYS ALL
The phrase 'MOST EVERYONE' is colloquial. In formal/ written English you should avoid it. Use "almost EVERYONE" instead!
MOST EVERYONE
HAS THEIR
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
OWN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CAR
.
BECAUSE OF THIS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
VERY
FEW
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
ARE USING COMMON TRANSPORT FOR COMMUTING. FOR AN EXAMPLE, ONE OF MY FRIEND HAS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CAR
AND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FUEL
PRICE ARE
ALSO
HIGH
STILL
SHE
The pronoun 'SHE' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "prefers", "preferred".
PREFER
TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USE
HER
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CAR
FOR GOING
Possible spelling mistake found.
SOMWHERE
RATHER
THAN
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UNSING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GOVERNMENT
BUSES.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
WHEN LESS PUBLIC
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USES
THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GOVERNMENT
BUS, LESSER THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
REVENUEAND
ALSO
WASTING OF
Possible spelling mistake found.
FOSSILE
FUEL.

IN THE CONTRAST, IF THERE BENEFITS OF USING OTHER FORMS OF COMMUTING SYSTEMS LIKE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CAR
POOLING, RIDE SHARE, OR INTRODUCING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ENVIRONMENTAL
FRIENDLY
Possible spelling mistake found.
FLUEL
WHICH MINIMIZE THE POLLUTION TO
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
EXTENT OR AT 0 LEVEL. THE PRIME BENEFIT IS THAT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
CAN SAVE THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
PLANATE
BYE USING ALTERNATE WAYS. TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
EXPLAIN
IT, IF INDIVIDUAL
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USE
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CAR
POOL OR RIDE SHARE THEY
Did you mean "DON NOT"?
DON NOT
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
HAVE TO
PAY ALL THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
EXPENCES
LIKE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FUEL
PRICE AND
ALSO
ONE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CAR
WILL BE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USED
FOR UP 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
INSTEAD
OF 5
Possible spelling mistake found.
SEPERATE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CARS
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
THUS
THERE WILL BE LESS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
DANGEROUS
Possible spelling mistake found.
GAES
IN THE AIR AND DECREASES THE POLLUTION, WHICH LEAD TO LESS
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ENVIRONMENTAL
DAMAGE.

NUMBER OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
Possible spelling mistake found.
INCREASEING
DAY BY DAY IN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CAR
BUYING LIST THIS IS DUE TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
CHEAP
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CAR
PRICES AND
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FUELS
. ONE SOLUTION FOR THE INCREASED
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CAR
OWNERSHIP IS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GOVERNMENT
SHOULD
Possible spelling mistake found.
INCRESES
THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CAR
COST AND
Possible spelling mistake found.
ESTRICT
THE NUMBER OF REGISTRATION PER PERSON OR PER FAMILY. I AM SURE THIS WILL
Possible spelling mistake found.
DEFINATLY
Possible spelling mistake found.
HEPL
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USE
ANOTHER WAY OF
Possible spelling mistake found.
TRVELING
.

TO SUM UP, BY PRESENTING OVERSEAS CONSTITUTIONS WILL RESTRICT THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CAR
OWNERSHIP AND
ALSO
Possible spelling mistake found.
HELPFULL
TO THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
ENVIRONMET
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay . The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000, there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on the British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
419 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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