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The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. v.30

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. v. 30
Over the last century, the advancement of technology has been increased which facilitates our life. One of these technological advances is cars and vehicles that are essential for transportation. Although cars are important in our daily life, they have some disadvantages and we should find alternative types of transport. First of all, the number of vehicles has increased since the 19th century, which means the daily life became much easier than before. The most used type of transport is cars which make cities more crowded, especially in the countries' capital. In addition, cars cause pollution by releasing dust due to fuel usage. Although cars save much time during travelling or going to work, they need much amount of Oil which will be finished one day from the whole world. Moreover, in the future, if the fuel finish, at that moment human beings will need another transportation type such as solar cars, but in this case, the size of the car will be smaller. On the other hand, It is necessary for governments to find other alternatives for vehicles. For instance, the Japanese government encouraged people to alternate cars with metro and bicycles few years ago. Besides, I think governments should promote taxes on car owners and increase these taxes as long as the number of vehicles increases. They can encourage them to reduce utilizing vehicles by providing them with free bikes or giving them honours. In conclusion, governments should motivate people with many ways to reduce having vehicles due to traffic jam and pollution. And It is important to find alternative transport and release awareness among people that reducing cars is needed.
Over the last century, the advancement of technology has
been increased
which facilitates our life. One of these technological advances is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
that are essential for transportation. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in our daily life, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
disadvantages and
we should find alternative types of transport.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
has increased since the 19th century, which means the daily life became much easier than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. The most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
type of transport is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
cities more crowded,
especially
in the countries' capital.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
cause pollution by releasing dust due to fuel usage. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
save much time during travelling or going to work, they need much amount of Oil which will
be finished
one day from the whole world.
Moreover
, in the future, if the fuel finish, at that moment human beings will need another transportation type such as solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in this case
, the size of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
will be smaller.

On the other hand
, It is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to find other alternatives for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
.
For instance
, the Japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
encouraged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to alternate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
with metro and bicycles few years ago.
Besides
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should promote taxes on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
owners and increase these taxes as long as the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
increases. They can encourage them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
utilizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
by providing them with free bikes or giving them
Possible spelling mistake. 'honours' is British English.
honours
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should motivate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
due to traffic jam and pollution. And It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to find alternative transport and release awareness among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
is needed
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. v. 30

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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